-RiDuaN-

2011-06-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

I change my url~~~

Do look me up here at zriduanz.blogspot.com [:

I am confused

2011-06-20T01:43:00.005+08:00

I am really confused right now...

I don't know what is right or what is wrong...

What am I suppose to do or not suppose to do..

What should I fix or should I not fix...

I am really confused..

I am seriously living in the past.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO LET GO OF THE PAST!!??!?

Damn it....

Argh,crap..Now let's move on to positive thinking..

(The glass is half filled..The glass is half filled...Hahaha!)

Wait..no no before I start positive thinking..I want to say I hate my phone ><

The music from my handphone sound so errr when I use my headphone compared to my laptop!!

Oh,man....

Okay okay..Positive thinking!

Life still had to go on....haih...

Hmm..

2011-06-17T00:56:00.004+08:00

Just now met with Ms Pey & some of the Excos for a meet up! Met at Wendy at Nex Serangoon for dinner there and celebrate Vanessa's birthday too! We remininice (I don't know how to spell the word ]: ..even the auto correct function don't give me the right word xD) about the past and also talk about our new life.

Well, as usual I will just keep quiet while they talked,hahaha! Just like any other Excos outing..maybe cause I am not in the same wavelength as them but pfft~ this post has got nothing to do with the meeting.

It is about one of the thing we talk about.. About Babysis..

It has being awhile since I call her that and it has been even longer since we talked. From what I heard she seem to have a bit of a struggle with her new post in Exco. She seems to have a bit of difficulty. I don't know..I feel that I should go talk to her see if she is okay but a part of me seems to just to want heck care about what is going on with her.

But MOST of me wants to know if is she is okay. I know I was the jerk back then..and end our friendship and I know that we all should move on from the past but seeing how things is, I think I should just have one last talk to her.

I know I am really busy with my stuff and projects, but I can't seem to put it away. Maybe because she used to be one of the best things that happen to me..and I really can't help myself but to go see if she is okay.

Whatever the results from the talk, I hope she will be fine. I know she is a strong girl. Maybe she just need a little push,thats all..Haih..I am confused~

I am in love!

2011-06-15T22:04:00.003+08:00

Tell you a secret...

I am in love~~~

With my new headphone!! :D

Just bought a black & green ATH SJ11 ^^ It has a good bass and sound clarity! Can't stop listening to my music from just now!! Hahaha!

Weeee~

Hmm..Guess I have move on..

It took a while but hey,now I am happier.

I accept the fact you are gone and we can never have the same relationship before.

I have to be realistic. It will never be the same.

I now do not thought of you as often as before.

It is a sign I have accept the truth that sometimes it is out of our hands despite the fact you really want to fix it.

Life goes on~

No matter how much life hits you down, you just gonna come back and push forward..

And life will still have to go on

Pump up!

2011-06-05T15:33:00.003+08:00

Hmm..I have to go burst mode le

I cant slack already! People are getting pumped up..so must I!

Okay I will double or triple my efforts (hopefully)

Argh.............

Tartar sauce!

Before I close the chapter to your name ~

Before I found the strength to let this go~~

There is a couple of things I never get to say...

Custard

2011-05-31T23:48:00.002+08:00

Argh..I am so stress le...

I may look like not,but really..I am stress -.-

I dont know what to do already..I give up!

Just kidding! But seriously..I dont know what to do!

Well,at least one thing seems okay..I was given a second chance [:

Not really with th same person,but similar people with a similar personalities..

It is already lucky enough to get such chance already..

Oh well..Gah gah!

random~~

2011-05-24T01:33:00.002+08:00

I starting to regret joining this course :/

Not that it is not fun. I got a great class with some exception,hahaha! The modules is quite all right..Just that I am wondering if I am happy with it..

I don't know..

I have a habit of letting go my stress by talking to non-living things or animals xD Like I am talking to them as if they are my friends but somehow talking to "them" helps me realise a point or two. Haih...

And somehow,nowadays my memories is failing me ]: I keep forgetting some memories that I do not want to let go. The memories I really treasure seems kinda blur now and is like I got STM. Is it the sign that it is time? Is really I had move on? I don't know..

And I have say I will not say my true feeling here again..wow,what a hypocrite I am ]:

Custard!! I am..a....GG! hahaha!

Late in the morning

2011-05-22T01:26:00.002+08:00

Wah..I miss Pokemon alot! xD

Reading the Pokemon Adventure Manga online really takes me back! I love Charizard!!! My favourite pokemon of all time!!!

*Ahem*

Well,I have nothing to say actually..Just err,HIIIII!

And also GOOD MORNINGGG!

Tsk tsk..I am boreddd..

Hmm...Life is so unpredictable!

WIlliam Shakespearse

2011-05-16T01:34:00.006+08:00

*Ahem*

I would like to say something with the accent of a great poet..Hahaha! So imagine me saying it when reading the following post!

"We all hope for a second chance.."

"Especially when we wish we could undo our mistakes."

"But second chances really does not exists."

"However in fact, theoretically..It does."

"Just that it is not with the same person we hope for."

"But yet the same situation or perhaps almost similar in everything."

"Just except, not with the person we hope for."

"Can this really be called A Second Chance?"

"We can never ever re-live the past."

"It is only if you're lucky enough to get a second chance with the same person."

"However, it really takes a huge amount of luck to ensure that chance, will make everything..."

"And I mean everything..to the exact normal way we hope for."

"Cause no matter how much you try to fix a broken mirror.."

"It can never be the same perfect mirror as before..."

Seeeeeeee...so cool,right?? xD

I bet I can be a poet! A fail poet! Hahaha!

Okay cheers everyone!

feverrrrr

2011-05-14T22:32:00.004+08:00

Want to know something?

I am sick ]:

Aww...poor me,hahaha!

Argh..Feel so feverish now..and my nose is running! ARGHHHHH!! Help me catch!

Anyway,I am now blogging on my new lappy [:

Yeah! Gotten it through NYP Loan scheme, it took me a month to wait for it and it is really worth it. Even though I am lagging behind the rest because I have no laptop..It is still okay.

I have always keep praying that when I finally get a new laptop,I am going to work really hard for my poly. And just the day before I received my laptop, at night before I went to sleep, I pray once more that I hope that I could get my laptop soon. And the very next day,they call me saying that I could collect my laptop!

Even though they call me last minute..even though I had to travel all the way from CCK to Henderson,I don't mind! All I know my prayers has finally been answer [:

I will push through my limits and I got a feeling this fever is a test from HIM. To see if I keep onto my words. I will do my best and not make me regret anything!

Allhamdulillah (Praises to God) [:

Stress! Stress!

2011-05-11T01:30:00.003+08:00

Argh..darn it!

I just woke up from my nap ._.

And I can't sleep now!!!!!

&%&^^$%$&^%$#%%&^&$^&*(*^&*^&%*(*()*&^%$#!!!

Hahaha!

public class SleepingTime {

public static void main (String[] args){

System.out.println ("I love sleeping!!");

}

Shown message: "I love sleeping!!"

Hahaha! JAVA SCRIPT! Yay,I got revised xD

Being happy

2011-05-09T02:16:00.003+08:00

I am happier if I just keep things to myself. When I was in sec 1 or 2,thats what I have been doing all along.

Putting my problems aside and just focusing on the present.

Hmm..thats what I shall do again [: It is okay. No one has to know my sadness,nor my past nor whatever. I will just be high! Be lame! Be happy! Be awesome! Be Riduan! [:

Even though it is a fake smile,it is still a smile mah.

I wont be blogging anymore about my true feeling or problems..Telling people my problems..I will just keep it all [:

I will only finally decide to open up when I finally know when it is the right time and when it is the right person. Maybe now I had found the right person but just not the right time or maybe it could be that it is the right time but just not the right person. Both had to be right [:

I am really thankful for this strong side of mine. Able to take every hit life has been giving me and still keep moving forward.

So..peeps! STAY HAPPY,OKAY?
Cause tomorrow..I HAVE A TEST!! ]:

Argh.....shoooooootttt!

STRESS

2011-05-01T23:17:00.003+08:00

Brains damage already!!

4 projects!

6 tutorial/practical!

3 presentation!

2 quiz!

ALL DUE ALMOST THE SAME WEEK!!!! Argh!!!!!

Wah................I am really stress out now!

I still yet to understand all my modules and projects is taking a lot of time!

Whoever say poly life is slack, I am really going to take a shotgun and shoot them twice!

TWICE I TOLD YOU!! TWICE!!

If I am in bad mood, even thrice!

Ok..I am just really stress now..

Haih..not even my 17GB ram processor brain can handle this ._. hahaha!

*Breathe in* phewww..

Ok,I am still okay..hopefully?

Argh...Need to continue doing....work!

]:

2011-04-30T03:36:00.004+08:00

And I still can't sleep ._.

Puppyeyes

2011-04-28T02:29:00.012+08:00

Since 9pm I feel so distracted that I couldn't do my projects,tutorial and practical..]:

Really distracted on the thoughts in my head about friends..

I admit I have a lot of friends but I don't have many close friends..

Those close friends I have either had given up our close friendship to just stick to being normal friend..

And I know that when one side stop trying,the close friendship will fall..and you will feel that it is no point in trying anymore..

But there are some friendship I hope I wont stop trying..

Now that my stress level is getting to my brain with all these poly stuffs,I really should start letting go some of my feeling somewhere before I break down.

I have just read all our window live messages since November 2009..All of them..

Our first being on 27 November 2009 at 12:00am ]:

The more I read,the more guilt build up in me.

The more I read,the more I feel like crying..

The more I read,the more I wish that I could time travel back and fix all of it.

Why did I take lightly of our friendship..

Why didn't I appreciate what was given to me..

I remember when I was in primary school..I always pray to God to let me befriend with someone who I can comfortably tell him/her my feelings,my thoughts,shared wonderful memories..and few years later my prayers was answered and one of that friends is you.

But yet,I wasn't been appreciative.

Now and the past is different.

You seem happier now with the new friends you make. That is great. I can't relive the past no matter how hard I try to.

When that day you call me, crying because of the thing with him..I thought I could you know,be his replacement..to make you happier. But honestly I have no idea of being a boyfriend,hahaha! But then one day you told me you like someone else,and he like you too. That's really awesome [: What matter most you're happy!

I don't know arh..I cant be as cheerful as I used to be before when you know me in 2009..

Some people say..You are who you are because of the people around you.

Maybe it is true? Maybe it is not? I don't know..

I have told you about the 2 girls in my poly class remember? To tell you the truth,one of them (the one without specs) really has almost the same personality as you..Make it harder for me to forget.

I dont expect you to sms me or what after you read this(or if you ever read this,hahaha!)

I just want you to know that sometimes when I see your name in msn, I really want to talk to you..When I see you in my contacts, I really want to call you. But I am just not man enough,I am useless coward. ]: But I want you to know that you're really important to me. You wont know how much I will do or changed for the people who are really important to me.

Maybe I feel we are so distance..I feel like we both changed.

Even if I were to lose this..I hope you would never forget these memories because I wont. Like I told you before,I wont forget whatever we shared.

I will still remember..

You being Mrs Polar Bear

The evil=cute quote

The sound you make when you scared of the dark

The Japanese performance in Compassvale Sec

The"NOOOOOO" slow motion

Watching movie with Group 5

Playing basketball arcade and you keep hitting my basketball,hahaha!

Chatting with you in canteen

The biscuit you given me

The good luck charm you gave me for O level but it drop from my bag and I lost it ]: I am really sorry..

As long I dont get hit by a car or something and lost my memory,I will never forget..

But if one day,just one day..that were to happen,

I hope you wont make me ponder who is this Puppy Eye..and also wondering if I had such awesome memories with this person..

Be happy always,girl..all the best in whatever you do [:

Miss you

2011-04-27T21:40:00.007+08:00

"Mrs Polar bear seem very ugly,hahas! Lets see...puppy eyes la! Hahas,since u keep doing it!"

I really miss those time...but you seem to have move on from our friendship. You got a lot of friends now..Maybe I did something wrong,but I dont know.

So what if I know new people in poly..

So what if they are better friends..

But they can never replace you and those memories

Our friendship is one of those that I hope not to give up on..

I am just not man enough to admit I miss you.

I miss being Hungry.. ]:

4 projects

2011-04-27T20:15:00.010+08:00

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 projects already and only 2nd week of school -.-"

And must send in the drafts within the same week..BEST denki la!

Aiyo..Poly is not a slack life after all! Who say one? I am sureeeee gonna kill that person!

Hahaha! Just kidding...*hide butcher knife behind* :D

PROJECTSSSSSSSSS!! You SUCK! xD

Tired mentally

2011-04-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

Argh...so tired!

Just week 2 cant take it already..brain fried,damaged etc. Hahaha! But still okay manageable ba..Just tired....

Life seem okay for me..Just tired!

Hahaha! This post is just gonna be me sighing that I am tired!

I AM TIREDDDDDD! :D

1103 V2

2011-04-20T23:50:00.003+08:00

Today best!

School start at 8am and ends at 9am xD Wah,so good sia! Suppose to end at 12pm but teacher not available so..bam! Free time! Hahaha! But obviously I didnt go home straight away la..Just go chilling with friends ^^

Damn funny..All the nonsense come out! It was a great time! Had a bunch of good laughs! :D

Shuyi is right..Just let fate do its thing [: It seems that I pretty much didnt regret taking this course. Knowing a bunch of good people and interesting people too,haha!

Thnks to qiu xuan too for reminding me to just smile and think I am awesome everyday,hahaha! Probably not for her,I might not try to be socialise with them? Hahaha! I am epic-ly weird!

I just have one thing I need now...PRINTERS!!

*^&%^$%%$#$%^&%&^*(&*&)^&&%$#@$%&^%&^*^!!!!!!

No,I am not scolding vulgarities...I am just symbol-ing! :D :D :D

BE A MAN, SCRATCH THE RIGHT THING! xD (Y)

1103!

2011-04-19T22:48:00.004+08:00

I really love my class! [: Just only 2 days school start we are really bonded! ^^

Just now after lesson end at 6pm,some of us stay back to eat our dinner and we thought we would stay for awhile. But NOT! We stay and chat and joke around! Really funny! And we are like the most noisy group in that canteen! HAHA! But who cares? We had fun! I almost choke on my food while laughing!

Then we also share each of our religion and background so we could get to know each other more! Really great time I had! Hopefully we could do this again! DIS 1103!

Talking about my new friends.....I now do realise I shouldn't care anymore about my past mistakes. The guilt will just eat me up and unknowingly I will do the same mistakes to the new friends I make. I know I did really bad mistakes because at that point of time,I really don't know how to handle friendship..especially true friendship and I just throw them away like a jerk. I am a big jerk.

Now I realise how i should have act and handle it more maturely. But I wont ask them for a second chance for us to be close friends again. I don't deserve that second chance. I did my mistakes and didn't show or tell them how much they really mean to me. I am really sincerely sorry.

Those memories will forever be embedded in me. I wont let them go. Those are the moments that make me see the true beauty of friendship. I have always thought friends are just people who you talk to in school or workplace. Thank you for everything.

I hope I will do better with my new friends I make and also the old friends I still have. And if it is our fates to be close friends again, I will gladly open my arm wide to take back that friendship.

Hmm..ok,gotta go! Need pack stuffs for school tmr! Argh! Tmr 8am start school! ]: hahaha! POLY ISNT AS SLACK I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!!! xD

Peace off!

Thank you,

Alvin

Yazdan

Beatrice

Feng xia

You are one of the people I waited to wish me happy birthday..I know I am lame and you'll be like " What? It is just a birthday wish.." but if you did had,that Sunday won't be as gloomy as it should have been. But its ok.

We might now never talk again or even see each other again. But you'll always be with me..in my memories and my heart [:

C.Maths

2011-04-18T23:25:00.004+08:00

Seeing the C.maths...I would rather do my add math and e.math back!! D:

So difficult!! I thought can escape maths in poly sia but NOO!

And today first day..I was like HUH almost the whole time during lecture, tutorials and practicals -.-" So difficult to understand but luckily,before the end of the day..I manage to answer most of my own doubts ^^

Will be a wild ride and hopefully I wont get fall out of the ride! Need do a lot of work already! Cannot slack le!

Jy Riduan Jy Riduan! :D

And jy to all who also have difficulty in their studies..Just rmber to not give up! ^^

All the best!

Happy Birthday!

2011-04-17T22:39:00.004+08:00

Yea!! Happy Birthday to me!

Oh and also to the Circle Line too! Happy 1 year circle line!! hahaha! xD

Hmm..yeah,finally 17 years old,and it is my favourite age cause it is my favourite number! ;D So I expect it to be a real awesome day but........

Practically the worst day of my life...

It is cause i just spend my day sleeping off..talking to the cat in my house..listening to music..staring at ceiling,just like any ordinary day ]:

But that is really not the worst part..

People I expected to,you know, at least rmber my birthday..didnt say anything at all to me..

It really sadden me.

Ya,I saw countless of people wishing me happy birthday on fb or hp but close friends dont rmber?

I dont expect them to buy me a big gift or come out with super awesome birthday wish speech..but at least a simple "Happy Birthday!"?

It just makes me think I don't mean anything at all anymore..or any of those awesome moments we shared means nothing anymore.

If you dont rmber ur close friend's birthday,does that means you don't rmber all those good times?

And I am here hoping to get a birthday wish from them but no. Nothing at all.

And here I am, thinking to myself, I shld not let our friendship go just like that cause part of me really still treasure our friendship even it is really not good. I know it all started because of me.. ]: And I am really sorry..

Those moments we shared are the one making me not to stop believing that I could fix everything back and be great friends again..Guess I really have to let go off the past ]:

Anyway,sad moments aside..Thank you to everyone for their wishes! Really appreciate them! One good moment about today is that the full moon tonight is really gorgeous! It is really beautiful! :D A great gift from nature!

Like I say,I will try find some happiness no matter how down I am cause there is a joy in everything,even in the smallest of things! ^^

2011-04-14T00:34:00.005+08:00

Yeah,got my student card just now!

But I look sooo ugly in the picture ._. Oh,well..I am ugly for that fact ^^ I am ugly-ly beautiful! xD That's epic. I will be honest. Argh..Poly going start soon! And I am sooo NOT ready for it. Because of some things:

1st: My mind is still in mood of holidays ._.

2nd:My dignity has been taken away.......

2nd is because just now,when going to NYP to take my student card,my new classmate,Sebastian, whom I go with ask me if I had any girlfriend before.

So I reply,honestly, no.. not even one. And you know what he say????

"Really meh? You have the type of face that have experience one and at least a few ex-girlfriend."

My face go from this :D to :] to :O to this ._. and finally to this O_O

Argh..My dignity! Hahhahaha! Just kidding,I am fine! But really? I look like one meh..Gosh! I need to get me a girlfriend soon! Any volunteers? xD Argh,nevermind I am fine. I am okay sailing alone! Hahaha!

See ya peeps!

NYP Yeah!

2011-04-10T20:46:00.002+08:00

Hmm,now that orientation is done..Time to choose CCA!

And I have NO IDEA what CCA shld I join :/

I am thinking of Aeromodeling club,Archery,Guitar Ensemble or maybe Paintball Shooting. Hmm,still I not sure which shld I choose. And also dont know if I shld join SIT Club,something like Student council in poly. Arh..I think I am not going too xD

Now I just need a lapppyyy ]:

New new new

2011-04-08T00:12:00.003+08:00

Well,hopefully my years in NYP will be fruitful [:

Almost end of the Orientation and well,I can say I pretty much like my class..Fun-loving,jokers,etc. Hahaha! And really,the phrase "Never judge a book by its cover" is true. One of my classmates who look like gangsters like that,actually is a 9-pointer and a CSIT-NYP Scholar some more. Add to that,he is a joker and have a good leadership..and I admit, way better than me in leading.

There are indeed higher mountains than us.

I really like my class DIS 1103..and the OGLs too ( Orientation Group Leaders )

Hopefully,there is no conflict among us since there are only like 20 plus of us. And I am known to them as Nan Chiau student xD Cause my chinese sucks,so my pronunciation of Nan Chiau,really sound like err..you know what I mean [:

I have yet to forge better friendship with my classmate but I know it will get better [:

[:

2011-04-05T03:51:00.002+08:00

Well it is a first [:

Meet brackety, my smiley - [:

Haha! Just being random now..and YES!

Wednesday is soon coming and finally the first day of NYP orientation! Now I wont get rot at home anymore! Woohoo!

Can't wait to finish poly,then go NS then go University then go work then get marry! HAHAHA!

Not really excited about the marry part nor the work part xD

Just excited to finally be a MAN..AN AWESOME MAN :D

Yeah! Hahahahahaha! [:

Need to let it go

2011-04-03T03:00:00.002+08:00

No matter how hard it is, sometimes we just need to let it go ):

I need to let go of the wonderful past moments

It will never happen again..

But sometimes it is hard to let it go when it is everything you want

And when you let it go, you are afraid of having nothing left...

I have to accept whatever happen ):

But I will do better and be a better person

Feel so..

2011-04-02T03:25:00.003+08:00

Hmm..it is so quiet now..Didnt think I feel so lonely until to this point

Not really family-lonely,but friends-lonely..get it? Hahahaha! You know a friend to share my hobbies,happiness,joke around blah blah and so on..

Hmm..just so lonely..I am just occupied myself with..err,myself xD hahaha,listen to music..daydreaming...

To think to have my 17th birthday the best birthday in my life is really impossible...haih...

Why must I be 17 now when life is so screwed up ._. Man,wasted on my favourite age D:

I cant sleep every night frankly..need wait till 4am or 5am plus then can sleep..just so many things rushing through my mind..

Hmm..Is this how I suppose to feel? A sign of loneliness?

Gah Gah

2011-03-28T22:20:00.002+08:00

Tsktsk..I have nothing to do ._.

I need to do something useful soon! And I wanna play COD or any FPS game! :D

That is something useful,right? xD

Need...things to do....

18 April come faster!!!! ):

And 6 April too..cause NYP Orientation!! :D

Wonder what type of people will I meet..hmm..

Back for more!

2011-03-26T03:45:00.007+08:00

OKAAYYY!

I am back! Well I got say before I was quitting but hey,with the current situation I am in..I pretty much dont have someone to talk to ): My mum is practically burden with the family probs so dont want to add on to her burden..so ya..

It is not I that i try to not talk to ppl but the first time I try to open out to someone,it fails..really epic failure ): then the other time,talk to my guy friend..but instead it became, i am helping with his probs..so ya..

A lot have happen since end of 'O'..

- I gain weight ( ALOT) xD

- Most of my close friends suddenly went silence..didnt reply my sms or calls even we tell each other to stay in touch after sec 4

- I am still 166cm ._.

- I started playing counter strike online and battle of immortals to de-stress myself

- Enrolled to NYP in Information Security

- Thinking if I shld had change my course

- Still wonder if I really had a great time in NCHS

- The new principal of NCHS sucks

- I gt a new SE Vivaz Pro phone :D

- Should I try re-correct my wrong decision

Hmm..Poly will soon start on 18 April,hahaha..just a day after my birthday....

Which reminds me..

I am going to be 17 this year..and I am really happy abt it cause I am going to reach 17,my FAVOURITE number ^^ but looking at what the situation is..I wont really have a good celebration..

I don't really want presents or wishes..I really just want to spend my birthday with the people i care

But it is not going to happen - I will be honest..I will say who i will really want to spend my birthday with

- My mum & family

- Excos

- Student Council

- 4down

- Malay schoolmates like Yazdan, Azizah, Arffah,Afiqah, Hazik etc

- Babysis and Puppyeyes

But haih,I pratically done alot of wrongs to these people..

- Excos and 4 down now think I am anti-social with my absence in class chalet,class activities and excos outing

- Didnt talk to my malay schoolmates as often now..maybe i didnt even put in efforts

- The last two..dont even have to say..I just did alot of bad things to them

How I wish history would repeat itself cause I want back all those moments..people think I can move on easily but I just look like it..I kept my real feelings inside.

Hopefully,in NYP later..I wont screw up again like how I did in NCHS..When I look at myself in the mirror,sometimes I want to call myself a joke. Not cause I clown but you know what I mean (:

I will try change for the better,step by step with or without support..I will just need time (:

Anyway,back to my dusty blog *cough cough* so many dusts..I will change some features of it soon (:

Once again..Riduan is back for more!

2010-11-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

I just going to let my blog rot now..

I don't see the point of having a blog anymore,and guess just gonna leave it here.. Soon, a new chapter of my life will begins and I wanna put this blog as just a part of my memories. Nobody read this blog anyway..so just gonna stop here. It was fun while it lasted.

So bye bye,blog! Thanks for being a place for me to release my feelings! [:

Okay,gonna go!

Remember to always smile! [:

For the final time...Riduan is off!

Prom Night

2010-11-20T19:52:00.012+08:00

Yesterday prom night was great! [:

Had a lot of fun with my friends and taking a lot of memorable photos together! But the bad part..I reach home at 12.55am plus? hahas! :D But that is just a mere small thing! I also manage to give her the gift and ok la..Hwee Ting look surprisingly stunning :P hahas! And she is also too..In her white dress [: haih..

Anyway,prom night was great!!!! 4D was great! Sec 4 and sec 3 Excos were great! Teachers were great! But most importantly..I was GREAT!!! :P hahas!

A NIGHT NOT TO FORGET!!!!!! :D :D

2010-11-18T01:30:00.005+08:00

I saw something that puzzled me on facebook...

She gonna look damn sexy!!??? ._.

Hahas! Well guess I have to wait till prom night to see how she look ._.

Wonder how will she look sia?? hahas!

Oh regarding the prom night.....

I am lazy to go for it...gah! Can I just wear my school uniform go there?? :P Hahas! Talking about finding clothes to wear! My mum become over-reacting to ask me to look at my best for it...aiya..

Oh,tmr gonna go buy presents for Qiu xuan aka shorty :P and a belated birthday present for Hwee Ting,hahas!

Hwee Ting did help me realise something really important..so I guess I should at least thank her? hahas..but on prom night when I am going to give her the present, I cant imagine how she will look like especially knowing that one of her friends say she look damn sexy -.- hahas!

Hope I dont drool! :P Skali she look like Tifa Lockhart!!!!!! :D :D

I dreamt too much..and also I only treat her as a friend only mah,right? [:

Oh,and I am not really enjoying my break after O-level ]: sad...

2010-11-11T19:42:00.004+08:00

Wahahaha! TMR LAST DAY!!!! :D :D

Anyway,I feel so excited I should randomly post something..hmm..maybe about all my current favourite PSP games! -.-

- Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core

- Final Fantasy Dissidia

- Ys Seven

- Legend of Heroes

- God of War: Ghost of Sparta

- Yugioh Tagforce 4 & 5 5DS

- NBA Street Showdown

- Gitaroo Man Live

- WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2009/2010/2011

- Initial D Street Stage

- Monster Hunter Freedom Unite

Hahas..I really love these games to the MAX! Oh,well..gotta go and plan my celebration! :P

TEEHEE!

2010-11-10T20:12:00.006+08:00

Woohoo! TWO MORE DAYS! :D

Left the Physics and Chemistry MCQs..and kinda end of everything [: but sadly I know I wont get good results cause I didn't put in enough efforts for it..but I already make that decision long time ago so just bear the consequences.

Anyway, when I think about it..I am a better person now than 4 years ago. I learn a lot from my mistakes...I know I can handle any situation much better. I also now tried to smile always. I know I had done a lot of mistakes in the past and I really regret about it but I know we should not hold on to the past so much..should not keep thinking about our old mistakes...should not hold too much onto the memories of our friends or the people we love that we lost.

All we can do..is to learn from our mistakes and move on

Thats what I learn. Move on. Even though it is hard..It is the only way we can move forward.

Yay! This post going to get emo soooonnn....so,I should stop and put a smile!

Yay!

Muahahahahahaha! Two more days! :D :D :D

A new world awaits..a new chapter begins! :D :D

With this Buster Sword....I laugh! Muahahaaha!

2010-11-01T22:17:00.004+08:00

Well, Physics paper 2 today..err,can't say much...Lost my chance of A1 or even an A2 already..B3 at most ]: Haih, damn screw..never mind,what is done cannot be undone,right?

Anyway, let's get to the bright side! Hmm..I pretty much found what I would like to have as my hobby: Photography! Yup yup! I don't know why but I just seem to be interested to take pictures and all....But of course not of myself la! -.- I mean take pictures of the moment, get what I mean? Like those precious moments with family and friends! [:

I realise that memories are indeed valuable..You can't throw it away nor you can't erase it all. When I think back in my years in Nan Chiau and Rivervale..I really wish I had a camera that time, to take a photo of all those unforgettable moments..Haih..beautiful memories can't be replace,right?

So I decided to try save up to buy a DSLR camera! [: I hope before my poly or JC years, I could get one..so I could capture all the beautiful moments in my new chapter of life [:

I know when I look back at all those photos in a few years times...I will cry, definitely

2010-10-31T02:35:00.009+08:00

Pheww..Add Math finally is down!

Oops..late to post by two days :P Anyway, lets review the last two papers- Add Math Paper 2 and Chemistry paper 2 [:

Add math paper 2 was easy,luckily! [: But..I don't think it is enough to help pull my screwed Add Math paper 1..]: Haih..anyway, Chemistry paper 2 was manageable, hope that the Chemistry Paper 1 is easier so could at least secure an A1 or A2 [:

At least talking to you a bit helps me [: even a reply of 'Erm...ok ba?' from you

Can you stay as my friend? It has been a long time since we talk. Well..I do need you as a friend [: Thats all the reason I can think of [: I don't know..it is not that I like you as ahem ahem but having you as a friend just brighten my day..It is not that I don't have good friends like Alvin or Yazdan but, I just hope we can be good friends!

Just like the time we sit in class as partner when we share lame jokes and share our stories [: When you told me about the ERP joke during Mr Rahim's SS lesson but took me a long time before I could get the joke! Hahas..good time good time [:

I still remember the first time when you try squinting your eyes since you can't see the board and you don't want to ask me for help because you think it troubles me..which is of course not! But now, you finally got your own spectacles! And look more ermm....chio with it! Hehe :P But really you look pretty [: AND actually you told me before you get your new spectacles, that you are lazy to make a spectacles! :P Hahas!

Haih..I know you'll never read this but....aiya,let's end this 'O' Level first! Then I think of ways to make us be better friends! Yeah!

HOHOHOHOHO!!! HAHAHAHAHHA!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!! And you know why I laugh? Because...my brains is fried thanks to geograaphy and now is about 2.32 am in the morning! -.-

2010-10-28T19:12:00.005+08:00

Really screw up today for Add Math paper 1..

It was really easy..I know the answer but I..screw it up. I kept falling asleep during the paper.. Because I was tired? Damn it..I really feel so frustrated now. If I didn't do well for the paper because I don't know the answer, I don't mind...but this time..I know how to do it..but I kept falling asleep during the paper..I could not concentrate... ]:

I really feel like crying now...Can you talk to me? Can you make the first move again like the time we sit together in class? Our first meaningful conversation? I know you won't know how much you really mean to me as a friend but tmr..if you could just say hi to me, I will really feel much better.

Really I will..You make me feel that I can redeem my life mistakes. You make my self-confidence come back again. You make me realize there are a lot of the good thing in life. I wish we will be friends just like before. You make me see the reason why that some time we fall down in life, is because so that we are given an opportunity to rise up again..You are really a friend I wish I could never lost..

Haih, anyway..I should get the sorrow over and done with. Tmr is Add math paper 2 and Chemistry paper 2....I just hope that the same thing won't happen again..

But still...I want my Buster sword!!! Hahas..I promise myself I will be back to my cheerful and lame side no matter how down I will be...And I will keep that promise!

Woohoo!!

But could you just say hi or even anything to me tmr??? Please.....<: hahas! I dream too much alr!

2010-10-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

Ms Sng scold me today..]:

Hahas! Not really la! She saw me using my PSP but she thought I was playing my PSP when actually I was just scrolling through my song! HAHA! Sorry,Ms Sng! Hehe! Why people will assume that when we use our PSP..we are playing game??

Then next time I saw people use Iphone or Itouch, I assume they are just touching the device la..hahas! Get it?! Touching the device.....err, I know it is lame and you all are giving me the -.- look! Hahas! :P

Ok, so today! E.math paper 2! Woohoo! Luckily it was almost the same standard than paper 1 so..yea!!!! Quite manageable! :D So happy! But tomorrow,the real hell start! :O

ADD MATH!!! CHEMISTRY!!! PHYSICS!!! GEOGRAPHY!!!! COMBINED HUMANITIES!!!

Arh!!!! My head gong gong already! -.- But hey! Just thinking the end of O level is near pumps me up! Yea!!

I love music!

I less than three music!! :P

Buster sworrrrddddddddd! :D :D :D

2010-10-26T22:03:00.004+08:00

Woohoo..One more paper down today!

It is the E.Math Paper 1,man! Yup,it was quite manageable [: Really glad it was..hope the others feel the same way too! Ok, tmr is the e.math paper 2,so hoping it will be the same standard as today! I really hope so!

See the picture above?

IT IS MY FAVOURITE BUSTER SWORD!! :D I want I want!!

It is quite massive so I need to train my arm muscle if I ever wanted to use it! Hahas! Oh,well..I hope I could find a key-chain of it or a mini model of the sword after my 'O' level!

I want to sleep...

I want to play...

I want to go out...

I want to watch movie..

I want to be freeeee!!!

And I could only do this after the 'O' level -.-

So, I am really looking forward to 12 NOVEMBER!!!

END OF EXAMINATION!!!!! for secondary school la! :P

Peacy Outu!

2010-10-25T21:32:00.006+08:00

I decided to post everyday until 'O' Level ends to relieve some stress! Hahas! :D

Well, today English paper 1 and 2..kinda screw it up especially for the Paper 1 -.- One of my worst essay ever! Arh!!!! I hope my Paper 2 could pull my Paper 1 up! *hoping!* hahas!

I should start SMILING!!!!! Forget about her and should start SMILING!!!!!!!!!! :D :D

And also should start on my E. maths -.- oh man....]:

MUMMY!!!!! I WANT MY BUSTER SWORD!! ]:

It really help

2010-10-24T22:14:00.004+08:00

Alright..few more hours to my first 'O' Level paper..

Feeling so damn nervous now..really I am. I feel so scared..but..

Ok,then! No more emo feelings! Time for the war! The O-Level War! Wish I had a Buster sword just like Zack Fair or Cloud Strife ]: but anyway, lets end this battle once and for all!

COUNTDOWN TO END: 19 DAYS MORE!

The Power of Phoenix!

RAIGEKI BREAK!

That is my Limit Break if I am a character of Final Fantasy :P hahas!

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN TEAAAAAAAAAAA!! :D :D :D

'O' Level

2010-10-24T01:02:00.006+08:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time really flies when you are having fun...studying,hahas!

Woohoo,tmr is 'O' Level! Which means...err,doomsday! Wheee! Ok, I am getting sooooo nervous that I barely can't rmber my name...wait,what's my name? Hahas! This is it. Gonna try do well for it..but I can guarantee I will not do my best for it ]: I just wanna make sure I could get a decent score.

I had my personal reason for not doing my best, so yup...

Oh oh, Puppyeye gave me this fishball toy as a good luck charm for my 'O' [: Thnks alot! Really appreciate it! I will carry it everyday! I promise! Maybe I will bring along with the biscuit too!! :D

Woohoo!

I am AWEEEEESOMMMMEEE! Ok,that is another random line too!

I am super cuteeeee!! :D :D That was...err,random???

When I see your face, the whole world stop and stare for awhile! Ok, a random song lyrics...

I still feel you, like I am right beside you! Ok, another random song lyrics..-.-

Sometimes I wish I could save you! That is still another random song lyrics.......-.- -.-

Aiya, I am just being random! Stress! Stress!! STRESSSSSS!!!

OOOOOO...SHINY! :D :D

O Level

2010-10-22T09:48:00.005+08:00

I read back my past blog posts and I realise something. I have change..A LOT!

I used to be a care free boy with smile and just a happy go lucky kid..but now I start to be so emo and blah blah blah. I should get back to myself one day. It makes me think..why I should always be emo? Isn't being happy good? Okay,maybe pretending to be happy.. Isn't it better than being emo..but there is one place that is best to be emo..ON THE BUS! Imagine sitting at the window..with your music,wah..so nice!

*Ahem* Moving on!

I now realise my world doesn't revolve around her..nor them nor him. So what if you lose them..lose them lor. There are others that is still better that is still with you [: right? It takes a lot of my friends' support to make me realise that! Thanks alot you guys! [:

I appreciate you guys! Life still is better without them..as long you guys are with me!

My family,the 4D-Ownians..Excos..and alot more! :D

I shall be myself again..a cheerful guys and lame guy! :D

Today,Riduan is reborn! :D :D :D

But in three more days...'O' Level!! -.-

%%^&%&%^%$#$%&*$%$%%%$^&%*((^^%$%^&&*()()

):{:}:{":{^%##%^&*&**(:{:}:{:{:{::{:%@!!!!!

Ooooooo...symbols! :D

I WANT MY GREEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN TEAAAAA!!!!!

Hungry!

2010-10-19T21:59:00.003+08:00

I am really sorry ]:

I am just afraid of it happening,you know? I don't wanna feel the same pain I just got myself heal from. Okay,maybe gotten myself heal by a bit but you know what I mean. If that thing were to happen, I know I could not get to you cause you are already attach..

Hmm,but you told me your feeling and guess I would rather put you first. If it were to happen, then happen lor..I shall just endure it until it is over right? Life sometimes also not always in your favor mah..I gone through it twice so I think I could gone through it thrice? hahas!

Well, all I can say to you..rest assure! I am still your friend and I am still your Hungry! :D

Really sorry ]:

Is there anything I could make it up to? ]:

How about a dale smile? [:

You know what I mean! hahas [:

Hmm

2010-10-14T01:04:00.005+08:00

Is my call for help really not noticeable?

Chance

2010-10-08T23:27:00.004+08:00

My tons of regrets in life...

How I wish I could turn back time.

I wanna make it all up...I really do..What is the first step?

I just hope I could get a second chance..The same chance that was given to me for the first time.

I wanna start all over again.

Please give me the chance. Please give me the opportunity.

Please..

I had seen what the human spirit could do..but all it need now... is a chance to do it..

Breaking the limit in 16 days

Emo emo

2010-09-26T22:37:00.012+08:00

I know..I ain't a good friend. I know I ain't a perfect person.

I am not smart..I don't have any talents..I am not rich..I have nothing. Whoever is my friends surely can't gain anything from me. They can't ask me for help in math problems sum..or physics or whatever. They can't seek advice from me cause I don't know how to give a good advice.

I am not surprise if my friends would prefer others than me, cause seriously I don't have anything. It is just that it gets lonely and upset you know, if your friends would rather hang out with others than you. But I accept the reality. Life is like that.

The more saddening is that you got replaced and suddenly you mean nothing to them. But I know..It is my mistake. I don't blame them.

All I can offer to my friends are just my attention. If they need someone to be with them, that's all I could do. I am sorry. I know I am not good.

Sometimes or every time, I crack joke or being lame or random..It is just that I want to mask myself. To be honest, I am a really really sensitive boy inside. I got a lot of fears...A lot of insecurities...I admit, I do cry here and there..But I know how to hide my tears.

I don't know how to express my friendship or my love.

I don't know how to comfort someone in need.

I don't know how to make someone happy.

But I know I have to be strong because I have responsibility. I want to give up but I know I have a family. I want to break down but I know I have people I do care and to protect. I will have to move on even if I don't want.

People always want to be happy but....for me, I would rather give my happiness away for the sake of other people's happiness. To satisfy other's need rather than ourselves is the best gift you can do for someone you care about.

But I believe there is no limit to what a person could do. It is his/her choice whether if we want to limit ourselves or not. There is always a way to break through any obstacles lying upon our life even if it prevents us from moving forward because I have seen what the human spirit could do.

There is a lot of people who I wanna make it up for...people who I make a lot of mistakes to..I have done a lot of wrong and how I wish I could get a second chance to make it up for all.

I am really sorry for my blindness,you guys.

Haih, sorry for the emo post..Just that, things hasn't been good for me. I hardly can breath but I will make it.

If other people can..So am I

Nobody know how I feel..only Allah knows.

"Breaking my limit through never giving up and believing in myself"

Thanks [:

2010-09-14T20:52:00.006+08:00

Thanks a lot for helping me realising [:

What is the use of emoing over one thing? If I just kept quiet to myself..get myself away from all my friends for these past few days..There is no point. Life still goes on. I appreciate my friends for trying to help me realise and try to cheer me up [:

It might be over and I know I would not get this over real quick but I will have faith.

Thanks a lot Yazdan, Alvin, Wei Song, Weibin , Ding Yuan and Adrian [:

Oh, Qiu xuan also did help a bit with the usual EX-Vp disturbance :P hahas!

Awesome Alicia also help with the thoughtful advice about always making everyday a happy day and let problems resolve on its own [:

I gotten my smile..but for my happiness..hmm..

Anyway, I guess sometimes you need a little push from your friends to get back up on your feet..No one can stand on their own unless with the support of the one they care [:

Middle of the night

2010-09-11T04:47:00.004+08:00

My smile has been taken away..

I can't endure anymore..I don't ever wanna be happy again cause I know..I could lose it all over again. I lost too many people who I care so much for too many times.

Just leave me alone, I wanna get away from every single one of you..I am gonna kept my hand phone switch off. I wanna cut the rest of the world from me. I wanna surround myself with walls no one can reach me. I wanna be in a dark room where no one can see my tears. All I ever wanted in life is to be happy..but guess I can never achieve that. No...not at all.

This pain is enough to kill me inside. My Uncle told me today..No one can be replace,except by getting someone better. Ya...To me,that sound even worse than being replace.

I don't want to smile anymore. All the people who told me to do that left me already. No point. No point at all. I can never forgive myself for all my mistakes..Never. I bring this down fall to myself. I will never blame anyone.

That lame..random..cheerful guy is no more

All that is left for me now is my examinations.

It rain yesterday

2010-09-09T09:05:00.005+08:00

I thought yesterday was a normal rainy day when I woke up, but something was wrong..I don't feel right..

Now I know why it rain yesterday..

It rain heavily, but with no lighting and thunder. I was preparing for school later on in the afternoon, and while waiting, I just don't feel right, and I am not sure why..It kept on raining heavily. So, I message Wei Song around 11.50am, asking him what time will he reach school cause I feel that I should come school early..he told me 1.30pm. I should have come on that time.

In the end, I come out from home later so reaching at the school side gate about 1.50pm instead..That is when I know why it rain.....During lesson after that, everything I learn before, I seem to forget about everything and my mind was really blank. I could not think at all. For that 1.5 hour of Physic lesson was all wasted. Nothing comes into my head.

Now I know how it felt to be replace. I don't and won't blame that person because it is my mistake. Three stupid grave mistake. I thought I could settle with the person all the problems after my 'O'-Level but I was too late. It was already over before I could even try. Giving that person the reason of focusing on my prelim 3 and O-level as an excuse is really stupid..but I have nothing to say. I am loss in words.

I expected this all along but I didn't expect it will happen before I could even try to make things right..Guess sometimes when life gives you lemon, the lemon juice got into your eye before you could make it into the lemonade. Hahas..what am I talking about?

That's it..time to let go all the memories. It won't come back. I should give up..I should not believe in myself that I could solve it..I should know my limit..

"Breaking my limits by believing in myself through never giving up.."

It is totally an irony to my motto..

I will get it over soon and I will try to be a better person.

Be happy and all the best for whatever you do..That person will do much better as a friend rather than me

Remember to always smile [:

Thanks for the friendship

100th Post

2010-09-03T22:32:00.004+08:00

Woohoo! 100th Post! :D

Is that amazing? No,I don't think so :P hahas! Oh,well..things has been okay but still not as smooth as I thought it should have been. I learn that silence is everything for me. I prefer to just keep my mouth shut rather than say anything. Hmm..

Well,I am just confused these days..I feel lost, ponder about what I suppose to do etc. I know I should be focusing on my 'O' level but my mind is not calm. I am not ready to face the 'O' Level with my mind in this state. Haih..

Guess between the people you have now and the great memories you had with someone close to you..It is better to choose the people rather than memories,cause when you cling to that memories with that special person or people..you tend to have high hope to try and get him/her back but even you know, it will never be the same. Guess I am that type of person who prefer to hold on to the memories rather than the people I have now,but still I can't do anything to get it all back. Time has change and there is only silence between me and that person/people. I should move on..]:

Ask me if I regret? Yeap..I done my mistake and being so selfish thats why I am not close anymore to that special people, but I learn from it. I become more mature,I guess. Guess it is suppose to be this way..... Oh, something shiny!! :D whee!! *Distracted*

*Ahem* Sorry about that.. :D

Ok, I finally found my dream girl and definitely I fallen deeply in love with her!!! OMG! But I know we will never be together..]: hahas! Wanna know who? It is Tifa Lockhart from the Final fantasy VII :D :D She is so pretty! I post a picture of her also! See see! :D :D

I love Final Fantasy VII [: It is a great game and story with many lessons especially life lessons. I love the character Zack Fair,he is so awesome! But he died saving his friend, Cloud Strife ]: A lot of things I learn and one of my favourite is the part of "Breaking my limits".You can break your limit as long you believe and give it all your best. If there is such things as limits, we would not be able to see people like Thomas Edison inventing the lightbulb and many more [: hahas!

Okay,see ya folks! Gonna prepare for the rest of Prelim 3 and 'O' Level! :D

Breaking my limits..

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is Tifa Lockhart! :D :D :D

*Drooling...*

hahas!

I want her.. D: hahas!

O-level

2010-08-27T22:26:00.005+08:00

Alright..58 more days! D:

It is one shot..one chance..It is now or never! All the way for O-Level! It has been a rough secondary school years for me but I learn a lot from it. I am going to bring with me all the lesson I learn and end it with an A1 for my SGC. I will..and I can!

Never Give Up!

It has been a quiet days nowadays for me and nothing seems to be the same like I expected it would, but I am sure that is a reason behind every cause.

I will just focus on my 'O' and leave the rest of the problems and obstacles after the end of 'O'

I hope by then..I am not too late to make everything better....

regret regret

2010-08-14T09:57:00.006+08:00

I will be more mature..

I am not gonna ponder about it,and focus on what I should do now. Have you had anything that you look really forward to but in the end spoils your mood instead? Hahas, such feelings really no good, no good at all [:

So no good the feeling,hahas! These things keep spiraling in my head like a hurricane and keep making me lose my mood like for example,if I am so really really enthu in doing something,then later my mind will suddenly think of it..and then,*Poof!* I no mood do ]:

Must focus..Last lap!

My motto..despite the distance of my house..despite the problems I faces..despite my emotions being affected slowly like a venom..despite everything...

Never Give Up,Riduan!

I upload a new instrumental song on my blog,a really nice song from one of my PSP game "Gitaroo-Man Lives" [:

It make me relax everytimes when I am down..when I can't talk to anyone about it [:

The Legendary Theme! [:

Ramadan

2010-08-12T19:43:00.003+08:00

2nd Day of this beautiful month of Ramadan and I am not totally at my best side..Well,I can say I didn't come to school today cause of my headache again,what more is new?

Things for me nowadays hasn't being so good...I am now officially at the down-est part of my life yet. Everything just seem screw. Well in every aspect like study,friends and just about everything. I can lie saying everything is okay but you can't run away from the fact. I done my mistakes and pretty much most of them are stupid mistakes. I lost some of my closest things and people to me because of it. But hey? That's what you get for being a selfish person like me. I don't think I deserve what I have now. I don't deserve anything. Things just gets worse with every step I take. I seem not to know when is the right time.

When I reflect back on everything, I didn't make much difference to anything I did. Every day when I went to school,on that bus 161..I pretty much use the time to think back on what I had done etc. I don't know how to get back my pace. I had make myself lost the trust in people that believe in me since the beginning because of my mistakes. I don't know how to redeem myself. What am I suppose to do? Even my close friends don't choose me to help them. Even my close friends chose others to be their closest friends. But I don't blame them. I can't make the right decision.

What is the first and right step I should make? What can I do to get the things I love back? I feel so frustrated now..and now I know why. I am not angry at any thing or anyone. I am angry at myself.

But for now,things just ain't going in my way..And to stay optimistic , I can just say..people has their ups and downs,and maybe now is my downs side of life. And I know I am just lying to myself

What do you do?

When you lost the trust of people?

When you lost the closest friends or people?

When you lost yourself?

Nothing much to say

2010-08-06T15:56:00.003+08:00

Happy National Day,everyone! :D

Okay,maybe advance happy national day to you all since not yet national day,hahas! Well, not much to say other than that [:

Something is bothering me though..I not so sure what is it, but in school every time I will start to feel so angry..really frustrated that sometimes it spoils my mood the whole day ]: I don't know what is it, but I should find out soon. Hope it is sometimes worth waste my time being so frustrated,hahas!

As day passes by, it came nearer to the end of the year ]: I am not prepared yet..not really for the 'O' Level but not prepared for something else...I can't bear to face the truth ]:

Haih...and no one tag my tagboard,aww..but never mind la,can't be bother by it :D

Sometimes I ask myself why

2010-07-31T17:42:00.004+08:00

I don't know if it is right or wrong to make that decision..

But I definitely know it is not the best decision I make to solve all the disputes. I just hurt myself again. But I am not gonna bother about it anymore.

I will just let time do its job. In a few more months, everything will change and I can really finally make a better and new chapter in my life.

This is the last year of my secondary life. At most I should solve all the disputes I had with my friends or anybody I know in my secondary school. But when the time finally comes, I will start a new chapter. Mark my words.

I wonder when will finally someone who will care for me the same way as I care for them? Other than my family la! Hahas! It is not like as if nobody cares for me..just that it is not as much as I care for them. Just basically a normal normal .Oh,well..who cares anyway?

Maybe I should just heck care about everything..but who cares anyway?

Oh..nobody also tag me..oh,well,who cares anyway?

Ok..I am getting lame.. -.-

You are gone

2010-07-25T16:18:00.007+08:00

I know I had done one of the most regretful thing in my life.

I had done it and I know I can never turn it back. The damage has been done. The words has been said.

Even though I seem not to care about it..But every morning I wake up,it is the first thing I remember and every minute I am awake,it keeps playing in my mind and every night I went to sleep, it will still be the first thing I think about. How I wish I could have changed better to solve it.

Now,even if I want it back..I can't have it the same way as before. Someone else had found that piece of diamond I threw aside and treasure it more than I do. I want it so badly but I can't have it anymore. I mess up again.

All I hope is you to be happy always.

Should not

2010-07-19T16:31:00.004+08:00

Girls that always break your heart no matter if it is indirectly or not, is the girl that you should not be with...

Girls that break your PLAYSTATION 3 with a HAMMER...is the girl that you should NEVER be with!

Hahas!

Cool quote I found in the Internet! But kinda true la [: I mean the first sentence,not the second one..hahas! You should see the video of how the guy's girlfriend was mad with him because of a small little thing and then while the guy was playing the PS3,the girl go grab a hammer and SMASH his PS3! Hahas!

Over-reacting much -.-

But still if I had a girlfriend, I don't mind her to break my stuff rather than break my heart cause there is always something called INSURANCE! :P hahas! Or maybe she go buy me a new one!

Or...just get a new girl! :D hahas! Just kidding...but seriously :P

TEEHEE!

Nigahiga rocks! And so am I! :D I know I OWN you all! Wheeeee!

Freak

2010-07-17T17:44:00.004+08:00

It is no point right? You see, people are seriously weird. Like really stupid I can say. It is a lot of times I see it. It just gets my nerve sometimes.

I mean like I always tell people if you need help or anything,can sure approach me..I see if I can help within my limit. If I can't I will seek someone who is better at that to help them..But always the same reply I get from them.

"Its okay la, Riduan. I am all right. Thanks for the offer"

But then you see the person talking about how dreadful he/she is on Facebook or MSN or any social network that public can see. Then will keep saying no one bothers to help them -.- I was like..what?? I did offer to you for goodness sake. If I try to help out of my own, they will all like..busybody la or whatever. So I guess I don't help you la, I don't want to waste my time on someone who just seek too much attention. Stupid Attention Seeker or also know as SAS.

I feel like telling them, you are not only the sore loser in the world okay? Like they are the only one who need help like that.There are people far more worse than them and these people do not do the same thing of seeking attention.

Some people I know in my class who need a spectacles to see in class but don't really have much money to make it did not complain how dreadful her life is,and I have to say I am really admire by her spirit. Sitting at the back of the class and cannot see what teacher wrote on the white board but yet can really do well for school? Come on, must sure admire such person.

She also ask me one day: "Is it too troublesome for you to sit beside me" Her voice was low. But I proudly say to her: "No,not a problem at all! I actually salute to you cause can really do well despite your difficulties."I smile and I tell her I really meant those words to her. I even ask her,you need any sort of help just tell me. But she is sometimes shy to ask but I know and can sense she do need some help and I don't mind at all to help her out a lot.

Not like some people I offer help to..Just attention they seek. I meant I can count la..Imagine I ask 100 people that if you need help or anything,can look for me..60 will tell me its okay and most of them then will say how dreadful their life is and like NO ONE bother,and the other 40 will be divided again with at least 35 who just seek help cause of attention or just fooling around with me and only 5 out of the 100 really do appreciate it.

I really don't mind helping anyone just that people take things for granted. If they don't need or don't want my help, I can't do anything la except I hope that person is alright..but the problems is that some people who don't need or don't want my help make it seem as if NO ONE bothers to help them -.- Tartar sauce people man,hahas!

Oh,well..I shall de-stress by doing some maths paper. It is better to solve my maths problems rather than the problems of attention-seeker people. My maths paper confirm appreciate me more than these people do when I manage to solve 'his' problem sums,hahas! [:

Long long ago!

2010-07-16T19:26:00.009+08:00

Woohoo..Prelim 2 start already! (Just being sarcastic *wink wink* ;D) hahas! Today was the Malay paper and pretty much it was ok..English is also not bad yesterday [: And further more I am going to have my Mother Tongue O-Level Listening Comprehension on Tuesday..well,kinda what to say..busy? hahas!

I suddenly don't know which institute I should go..Poly or JC? At first I was thinking of going to Poly but then I don't know..My mind change? hahas! I also don't know which course to go..I am thinking about going for Health Science and also Engineering..at the same time,Psychology -.- aiyo..then I would want to go for Astronomy..hmm.maybe I should finish up my O-Level first then think of where I should go..see what choices I have [:

Well, never mind..I don't know what to do anyway..Arh....Tartar sauce! :D SPONGEBOB!

Life goes on -.-

2010-07-02T22:15:00.003+08:00

Talking about getting problems and having responsibilities..It is just crap -.-

I mean like who want to take a lot of responsibilities? Be the one to answer it if anything goes wrong? Like I had a choice want to get the problems..Haih, nvrmind..screw this thing ]:

Now I have at least exhale a bit of depression..let's see the brighter side of life,hahas! I realise I have this skill call "The Silence Killer" :D

It is just something I named myself..I realise I can really make better friends with people who are kinda the quiet type of person or don't have many close friend or loner or just don't social really much,and I can break their "silence"! :D

Now in class I am sitting beside Hwee Ting who is kinda a quiet girl and don't really talk that much and also don't social much too..but she is smart hor! hahas! Manage to get our first laugh conversation today! hahas! A great acheivement! xD I get to know her better and realise she actually need a spectacles to see..but she don't have one and we both sit kinda at the back of the class..I ask her why she don't make one and she reply that she is lazy to make -.- hahas,but i can sense it is kinda a lie..I remember that she is under FAS and I could infer she maybe got financial problems ]: I wish could I help her..

Hmm,now I try to show the notes our teachers teach us on the board to her so she can benefits as well [: As well as teach her the things that she can't see on the board..quite irony that I am teaching someone who is smarter than me,hahas! xD

I benefits a lot too from sitting with her..I realise ever since I sit with her,I always been studying in class non-stop! Like she pass me her aura like that! Even during recess time or lunch break,I prefer to study and stuffs! This surely help me [:

This is not being picky or what but I prefer to friends with people who is kinda not so much sociable,who don't have many friends,kinda quiet and a lonely person in class or school etc..Maybe cause at least I know we are always hanging together or talk to each other since we don't have any much friend..hahas,I don't know how to explain :/ I don't mind expanding my network of friends but I prefer being with these type of people..who every time like in facebook if he/she post any status,not many people comment or none comment..in fact I don't really like to use Facebook,I just create it so that I could keep in touch with friends etc..hahas!

Well,that's all folk! Tmr Pass-Out Parade ]: last day of being an APC...

I got a PSP! :D

Scared..

2010-06-26T20:52:00.005+08:00

I lost my touch..

I can't no longer be at my best. These life experience make me lost trust in people..I just can't believe anyone. Without me realizing, these distrust in people of mine, had turn into me losing my trust in myself.

I know a lot of people who I know are always better than me..I can't compare to them in any aspect like academic..leadership..friendship..responsibility..maturity etc. It is a clear cut. I am no longer significance in anyone's eye. one good example just happen during the NCC meeting just now..It was just an hour meeting and Mr Koh apologise to some people who stay quite far in Farrer Park and Marine Parade...but he didn't point out to me. He could forget I also stay far,but nevermind..I used to being a shadow already.

My mum,my sis and my grandma can forgive him but of course can't forget what he did to us...but for me, I can't forgive and also forget. These feeling of anger and frustration is burning within me. Whenever I am alone, bad and negative memories start to haunt me back. I just can't run away.

No one can save me..I have to save myself. I just want some colours in my life. But I know I have a family and friends..It's ok if I use my crayons to colour their life,leaving my life just a dull picture cause I lost the meaning of happiness..I don't get it what do people mean by happy? Got a new PSP? I feel glad but still no..I see people smile everyday,but does smile = happy?

Even if I can't be happy,I shall put on a smile

Not because of me,but because of others

But I feel really scared now..

I don't wanna bother people but sometimes I do need someone..I don't know,maybe just that I can't trust anyone yet other than my family to hold me.

When people hold you, there can be two meaning..

-They really want to hold you or

-They either want to break your hand

June June!

2010-06-13T14:14:00.003+08:00

"If there is choice of choosing between someone you love and someone who loves you, choose the one who loves you cause you can learn to love them back but you can't make someone to love you back"

This saying is always something I always ponder upon..when there are choices between two person or two objects,I always make the wrong choice ]:

I always choose something that I love rather than the person who loves me or the object that is really meaningful to me. It is something I have yet to learn..I always can't decide the right choice ]:

I do realise that the one who loves me give me more meaningful memories and valuable lessons learnt that always make me smile about it every time I remember it. How I wish I could tell all the people that I have given up for someone else how important they are to me but it is now too late...They either had found friends or someone better than me or they don't really bother about me.

I feel really regretful now..

But what to do? It has been done..You can't change the past. Why am I so blind? It doesn't happen once..It happens at least eight time if I am not wrong..That eight person/object could change my life for a better..but I just let them go. How stupid can I be..

It is like you found a piece of diamond in a puddle of water full of pebbles,and then you throw it away into the puddle..then when you realise how important it is, you try to search for it...but someone else had found it and treasure it more than you do..That's the time you realise it is too late already..

Haih,life goes on..I really feel regretful for the wrong choices I had make. Hope when there is a choice between two person or objects,I will make the right one in the future..Hope so..

Looking at the bright side of life..tmr is my Mum's birthday and then Council camp! [: Then the NCC oversea Trip! [: Hope these could make me feel relax..

25 June 2010 - Full Moon! Can't wait to see it! [:

Full Moon

2010-05-29T01:11:00.004+08:00

I know it was the best thing to do..but it wasn't the right thing to do.. ]:

I am sorry...

Haih..well, I always screw things up,don't I? hahas...Well,gonna focus! On Monday is my 'O' Level Malay :O Damn..so stress up! And this June Holiday is just full of extra lessons -.- Well,what to do? Sec 4 mah..hahas!

Some events for June Holidays:

4 June - 6 June : NCC Annual Camp

11 June : 4D'10 BBQ 2010

14 June - 16 June : Council Camp

17 June - 21 June : NCC Oversea Trip

25 June : P6 RVPS'06 Reunion :D

Soooo looking forward to 25 June for the Reunion..it has been 4 years since I see they all and the 4D BBQ too! :D The NCC camps & trips..ok la,quite excited..hahas! But for the Council camp...I am still having second thoughts on going for it...especially after today's incident ]: Damn..I really do screw up man..

My left arm ache a bit,cause I go punch with it into the floor out of frustration..hahas! I know I am being stupid..

Yesterday was a Full Moon! :D

Smile smile

2010-05-20T21:07:00.000+08:00

Okay,no more emoing..no more trying to get a penknife and try to cut my wrist..no more no more!

I shall make today a day to remember that to look at things at different point of views! :D I shall be back to myself..I hope

Emo cause of being hurt seeing the person you like? Forget about it and life still goes on! :D

Sad cause of every thing not right? Well,screw it! Just be happy..or at least act you're happy! :D

Feel like giving up? Well look at what's you are left with and keep holding on! :D

This is my motto now! :P

I shall smile smile and..SMILE!! Or maybe if can't, just fake one! [: I might be a loner,so what? I got myself! Hahas! Haih..ok,maybe at least is good I want to look at the brighter side of life [:

I wanna be happy..but even I can't..I shall pretend to [: Yeah! Claps for Riduan! :D

But I do miss her :P

And the irony part is..she promise everything going to be different after exams..and yup,it is different.........in a bad way D:

Well,even it kills me..make me sad..make me emo...I am still gonna stay cheerful! [: I know it is my fault anyway,so I shall bear the consequences ]:

Riduan FTW!!! :D :D :D

Hmm..

2010-05-17T22:44:00.003+08:00

Ok,what's with the advertisements in my tagboard? -.- And who is Xuan?? Hahas! Never mind,small matter..Nobody tag D: hahas, nah..just kidding! Don't expect anyone to read also [:

I kinda lost the meaning of happiness :/ What is the definition of happiness? Smile? Cheerful? hahas..kinda wonder what do people meant by happiness..hmm..

Guess, I don't know..

Haih.. never mind la,to suffer so that you are happy is worth it [: I don't know la..hahas,getting hurt is like my everyday thing..so should be ok? hahas! I got tons and tons of friends and in fact most of them are good friends no doubt but a few close friends..I can even count with my fingers :/ hahas, guess I was born a loner [:

I think I am gonna change soon..or maybe I am already :/

I think soon I am not gonna be so cheerful any more..What's the point anyway?

I lost a lot of things that I value already..I am left with a few..

I am not surprise one day I will get cuts on my wrist,but nah..I am still not that insane,only once I try before when I was in sec 2..It kinda feel so damn good,but you will regret it man..hahas [:

But it's empty

D:

2010-05-16T03:13:00.001+08:00

I am such an epic failure in everything D:

Haih.....

Now, 3.13am and I can't sleep..Too many things rushing through my mind ]: My companion at the moment is my music and my Add maths worksheet.. Always being working till late like this -.-

Another thing I just realise when I saw it...haih...Seeing it really make me feel painful in the heart..I really can't bear this any longer...Why can't I just take a knife and stab me in the heart? End the pain one straight go! -.- Better we are being just normal friends.. ]':

My eyes are red yet I still not able to sleep D:

Going to get insomnia soon at this rate,or I already have it? O.o Gah!

Seclusion

2010-05-11T21:56:00.007+08:00

Haih..Think gonna fall into a seclusion soon.. D:

The only good part is..I improve my English by learning this new word..haih..

Last Obstacle

2010-05-06T18:51:00.004+08:00

'O' Level Examinations... Four more months... One shot at it

Feeling the pressure now..Sec 4 already...It seem just only yesterday I was in sec 1..clueless about anything on my first day,hahas! Now,I am on my last obstacle for my secondary school life..I don't wanna screw this up..

When I was sec 2, I screw it up..and lost my chance to enter into my course of choice : Triple Science and also have gotten myself almost retain for that...

When I was sec 3, I screw it up..and force to drop my Higher Malay..even though it cause by my hand injury...Still I screw up,and lost that 2 point..

Now,sec 4..I don't wanna screw up anything especially my 'O' Level..Like what Mr Goh say," You have spent 10 years of education to be prepare for this..Don't waste your effort and time" I don't wanna waste any more time and no complains to study.. I will use my time to the fullest and not a single second I am gonna waste it..

I can't wait for Night Study and now I am making plans to stay in school until 6pm to study and revise..until the very last day before 'O' Level Examination start [: I am going to seek help when in doubt and don't be scared to ask a lot of questions..I am going to double or triple all my friend's effort and make sure that 'A' is secured in my SGC Certificate [:

I am not aiming for 9.9 point like what the school want..I am going to aim for L1r5 with 6 point! (Is that the maximum? :P) hahas! With CCA Point, that will be 4 point..I am not gonna screw this up..

I don't wanna disappoint my Mum..Ms Sng..Mr Goh..Ms Leow..Mr Tee..Mr Rahim..Mdm Yeo..Mdm Rohayah..and so many others who have contribute so much for me..

And I wanna show and prove to him, I don't need him to be beside me for me to become a successful person...

Well, take care people! All the best for your upcoming examination! :D

Wish you all good luck and give you the 'A1' fever! hahas!

Less than 3----- <3

Random Post

2010-05-03T23:45:00.006+08:00

Sometime how I wish..I can just tell you the truth..

Just to tell you I am killing myself beneath those smile..

Every time I told you I miss you or I love you..I really meant it..

Yes, I told you before I had given up..but u clearly don't understand me..

I won't let go a diamond that easily..

Just becoming your friend..

So that I could protect you from any danger..

So that I could be your comfort if you shed tears..

So that I could always make you smile whenever you're down..

That would be good enough for me..

Even though every single time..It stabs me deeper every time....

Watching you with guys that I know who are better than me or..

Talking about how handsome or perfect they are or..

How cool and a smile they have to stun girls like you or..

How you really like them more than a friend..

I really care about you, more than you can understand..

I really miss you, more than you can imagine..

I really love you, more than you ever will know..

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow..

If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder..

If you need a hug, I'll be your bolster..

If you need to be happy, I 'll be your smile..

But whenever you need someone...

I'll be there for you (:

Hahas! Got ya! Think I am really writing for a girl,is it? :P I was bored doing all my homework so I thought spend a 10 min break,and just write this 'cool' paragraph for fun! Wheeeee! I am random!

Random-ing FTW! :D

Oh,ya..Today is AWESOME's Birthday too!! Happy birthday Alicia! :D You have always been a great help especially with girls advice whenever I need them! :D hahas! Thanks for being a great junior..A great AWESOME..and a great friend [: All the best taking care of the Student Council! I know and always believe you'll be a great awesome VP! [: Just like MEEE :P hahas! BHB xD Stay happy and awesome always!

Ok,gonna go bk doing my work now! Takecare,people on the internet! If you still think I am writing to a girl..You are wrong! Or...maybe you are right? :P Who knows! Oh,ya...ME! Muahahaha! I got one thing to say to ya : Less than Three! :D

Less than Three ---- <3

TEEHEEE! :D

Save You

2010-05-01T23:56:00.007+08:00

Prelims is COMING!!! :O hahas..so,nowadays wont be online as much so dont sad,ok? [: LOL! Who would bother abt me...]: *Cry cry* hahas! xD I will always know at least my mum love me!! :D :D :D Ok, I am such a retard.. :D

Anyway,I love the song by Simple Plan - "Save You"

Go listen to it! Really nice and the music video quite touching too,I suppose? [:

Shld thank to an awesome best friend of mine who give me this song and dedicate a part of the song for me!! Hahas! :D :D

( I will bold the part of the lyric [: )

You know who you are! :P

I also put the part of the lyrics at the side of my blog!

<---------------

Under the new section "Smile Smile" :D

Well,thats all.. Takecare people! :D

To someone-----> I love you :D

Hahas! You shld know who you are! Wait...who?

Hahas,just random-ing la! :D

Save you - Simple Plan

--------------------------------------------------------

Take a breath, I pull myself together

Just another stair, until I reach the door

You'll never know the way, it tears me up inside to see you

I wish that I could tell you something

To take it all away..

(Chorus)

Sometimes, I wish I could save you

And there's so many things that I want you to know

I won't give up till it's over

If it takes you forever

I want you to know..

When I hear your voice, it's drowning in whispers

It's just skins and bones, it's nothing left to take

And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better

If only I could find the answer to help me understand..

(Chorus)

Sometimes I wish I could save you

And there's so many things that I want you to know

I won't give up till it's over

If it takes you forever

I want you to know..

That if you fall, stumble down

I'll pick you up off the ground

If you lose faith in you,

I'll give you strength to pull through

Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting

If you fall you know

I'll be there for you [:

If only I could find the answer to take it all away

(Chorus)

Sometimes I wish I could save you

And there's so many things that I want you to know

I won't give up till it's over

If it takes you forever

I want you to know..

I wish I could save you..

I want you to know..

I wish I could save you..

Flu..fever..headache..

2010-04-29T19:38:00.005+08:00

What I need now is...a flu,fever & a headache.. -.-

Crap..Miss school today ]: Need to do catching up agn! ]:

Grrrrrrrr!!! hahas [: Used up two box of tissue! Oops! hahas!

I am awesome by the way! :D *wink wink to Alicia* I am always the AWESOMEST! :O

*Applause!* Thnk u! Thnk u!

I neeeeeeeeedddddddd a tissue now! *Achooooooo!!* -.-

Peacy Outu! :D

A mirror..

2010-04-25T12:51:00.012+08:00

A mirror.. Something I use it everyday,to see myself..to make me believe in myself..

I never knew it was so precious to me...until one day,I had drop the mirror..shattering it into a million of pieces..

Now,I realize I had lost a beautiful mirror and I really wanna try to put back the glass pieces together..but I know even if I did manage to put it back together,there is still crack in between the pieces..and the process of trying to put it back together..it is just so painful..Every step I take to try put it together,the sharp glass piece keeps cutting my hands, making me bleed and every time I try again and again,it makes me bleed even more....but yet I don't wanna give up...I really love this mirror...I don't wanna lose it..

I could always get a new mirror..but it won't be the same..This mirror is too unique,but every time I try to save it, it just keep getting me to be in pain and miserable..I don't know if it is worth to save it..I am losing time and I don't think I can hold on anymore... Without this mirror,I can't see how can I believe in myself any longer..Further more, I really love the mirror..but the mirror might not be feeling the importance of me cause it is not as if the mirror really do need me..

I could just give up on this mirror and move on with life....leaving it there in million of pieces..leaving me with a lot of scars...leaving me to feel regrets and just be lost with the internal pain...

Leaving their friendship with me to an end..

Why?

2010-04-22T00:15:00.003+08:00

I sometimes just wanna tell someone all my problems..Just sit down with me for a min,listen to what I have to say..I dont need him/her to give me good advice or comfort me..I just wanna someone to listen only..

But every time I tell someone my problems,he/she can link it to one of their problems and soon they talk abt their problems to me..It is actually alright,I dont mind helping them out and I do love to help my friends out..but just sometimes..I dont know la..hahas

Haih,I shld let go some stress by telling someone,but cause some of my friends that i try to tell my problems with,they always think it is not serious or maybe I was joking etc..I tend to lose confidence to tell my friends abt any of my problems..

Sometimes..I am too stress up,I just talk to the cat in the house,Fluffy..hahas,since I am staying in my mother's friend house..they have two child,one a sec 3 girl and another is a pri 4 boy..so my sis and bro have someone to talk to or play with,but for me? Just my mother's friend cat lor..hahas..I will like go to Fluffy when it is lying down on the floor,then I lie down besides it,just 'talk' to it abt my problems..It do help sometimes? hahas,even though Fluffy only keep sniffing my head every time I try to lie besides it,hahas!

Haih..I am really confused..It is just that miracle I can smile and laugh,despite the things I am facing.. :/

Happy Birthday Riduan!

2010-04-17T23:19:00.010+08:00

Guess what today is??? Yup,u are right....It is the...

Opening of the Circle LRT Line of Tai Seng and Dhoby Ghaut! :D

Hahas,ok la..yup..it is

Riduan/Undies/Hungry/Doomp/Rabbit/Retarded/Duan Duan's Brirthday! Yeah,how awesome is that? hahas! :D Thnks alot for all the wishes and presents! Really appreciate every single one of them! :D

~~Wishes~~

Thnks to the following people for their wishes! :D ( Just type out the names I rmber,sorry! )

- Shaw En - Jasmine - Jia Wen - Alicia - Azizah -Arffah - Fengxia - My Mother! :D - My Sis -Sham - Alvin - Beatrice Wee - Felicia - Joey - Chi Ling - Beatrice Lee - Shu Hui - Joyce -Katherine - Nicholas - Qiu xuan - Liyun - Erica Siew - Jocelyn - Wei Song - Wei yu - Wei Jun - Lau Wei Jun - Adrian - Wei Bin - Ding Yuan - Pei Shan - Benedict - Rena - Tian Ning - Jean Foo - Hazik - Siyi -Vanessa - Shuyi - Alphonsus - Gerald - Jazin - Travis - Jerilene - Rui yuan - Darren -Lyon Ng - Khong Yew - Syauqina - Tian Cong - Lyon Koh - Ruiqi - Wanling - Eileen Tay - Hui Ling - Desmond Heng - Wan Ching - Danston - Victoria - Jeslin - Jun xiang - Le Schane - Jun Jie - Shao Yuan - Yee Teng - Jasleen - Bo Han - Hazimah - Gerald Wong - Jia Jun -Zheng Qian - Kennard-

~~And many more~~

(Sorry! I cant rmber all! :x)

~~Presents :D~~

--Thnks to my Grandma for the $10! :D hahas!

--Thnks to my Sis for the new wallet! :D

--Thnks to Alicia for the Rabbit and the note! :D

--Thnks to Qiu xuan for the Hot Hit present TOY SWORD! hahas! :D

--Thnks to Alvin for the Exp Red Lamborgini Model! Wah,damn touched and guilty leh :P

--Thnks to Joyce for the Choco and Headphone! :D

--Thnks to Jasmine for the Tin of choco,sweets and a keychain! :D

--Thnks to Joey,Shaw en,Chi Ling & Beatrice Lee for the Adidias Shoe bag! :D

--Thnks to Fengxia for the Riduan Undies! hahas! :D

And also thnks the EXCOS for their cake! hahas! :D Really enjoy myself today..Thnk u everyone for making 17 April an awesome date to remember! :D

THANK YOU!!! :D

It is always been like this..

2010-04-15T01:46:00.012+08:00

What is the time now? 1.46am..AND tmr or perhaps,later on..there is school..haih,and I am still awake..Somemore got E.Math Test and History Test. Crap la..Was doing my homework abt 8pm,then accidently went to sleep and just woke up ]: Still got a lot of work have not yet finish...

My mum recently told me if we were to get our own house..It will be around Bukit Batok or Bukit Gombak,wow...getting further and further...

-.-

It has always been like this...

My handphone now also no more prepaid -.- but what is the point of having a handphone anyway? People only sms me when they are bored or need my help,and the moment they find smtg to do..stop smsing me and I will be there like some idiots waiting for a reply..Is it that hard just to sms back smtg like..

"Hey,sorry Riduan..Need to do work now, Thnks for talking to me!" or

"Hmm..I will be online on msn,so afraid I wont reply you..Takecare!" or

"I am busy doing work now,can talk later on?"

Just a simple indication that you are doing something else so I dont have to be an idiot by waiting for a reply..Gosh! Even short simple sms of "Bye" is good enough for me. When the person stop smsing me,and the moment I went online on msn,and saw him/her online..I will like wow..I feel like I am just someone to fill people's boredom time..And when I sms people,they will reply with 'HAHA!' or 'Lol' or just short reply which is really hard for me to come out with something to continue the conversation..

I seriously dont like short msgs..when I feel really irritated by it,I will also give back short msg like' Haha..true true' or best-dont bother replying: Save my prepaid and time..Even if they are the one who wanna talk and sms me first,give me short msgs..I am really super irritated by it..I will like think to myself: "U wanna talk to me,but u give short msgs? Are u expecting me to come out with something to talk?"

It has always been like this...

Everyone has two hands: One of my mum's hand is for my brother and the other one for my sister if anytime they need a comfort,so I dont wanna add more burden to my mum's heavy shoulder alr with my problems..I am big enough to try sort things out,but sometimes I just need someone hand to hold onto...but who would bother? Everyone is busy with their own life,right?

People telling me "Hey,ur birthday is coming!" So what? I am seriously not in a mood for it...I am just really feeling sad and emo,people dont really see it cause I am always 'hyper' and even my tone in my sms and msgs,I will sound happy and hyper..but nobody knows that I am really really sad..My blog is the only place I let go bit by bit,so I dont really bother who tag me or read this..It is one of the place I can be a bit relieve..

It has always been like this...and will it stay like this forever?

Sooner or later..

2010-04-13T20:38:00.005+08:00

Well,kinda tests here and there..no difference in life -.- Yup,sec 4 life=Life of No Life! :D Gotta need to chiong! Must chiong arh!!! hahas! Yeah! [:

Today had the Councillor Investiture Rehearsal,letting the New Batch of Excos to take charge [: I am glad they were able to handle it properly.. despite their first attempt,even though got flaws here and there,but hey? They just took over..and I do did alot of flaws when I just took over as the VP [: I can trust Alicia can do a great job as a VP and the New Excos when they take over! [:

27 April only two week from now,and yup the day I step down ]: Man..It seem so fast and almost a year I have become a VP..Alot of things I have learn and discover abt stuffs and things and many more..hahas! Time for miracles! LOL! What am I talking abt? -.- Well,gonna be a sad sad day that day ]:

Well,takecare!

Rmber to smile! [:

Public performance

2010-04-11T01:10:00.010+08:00

Public performance was a superb performance by the Performing Art CCA! :D Great jobs,guys! It was such a mesmerizing performance by u all! :D No words can describe it all! Just reach home actually at abt 12.40am? hahas! Woah,quite a tiring day,but..ok la,hahas! :P

Words are meaningless without actions..I am still hesitating whether I shld just delete it all or dont care abt the person anymore,it would be better,right? hahas..but aiya,I dont know..It just doesnt seem to be link with the things the people say and his/her actions..well,guess I thinking so much..hmm :/ and I am kinda sad it were them who did it..well,what to do? Just accept la..Could be the better for all of us?

Haih..not really in any mood,not even excited abt next Sat even though I am suppose to.....It is the first time ever in my 15 years of life I am not looking forward to it..Guess the situation contribute to the factors? I dont know...lalalalalallallalala xD

Well..Gd nights people!

Takecare! :D

Smile always [:

haih...

Not looking forward

2010-04-07T20:26:00.004+08:00

I dont know..but I am just not looking forward to next week Saturday...really....

what the heck..-.-

I am still thinking too much,better seriously clear my mind off,tmr still got Add Math Test,Social Studies SBQ Test and also English Report Writing Test...and dont forget abt NCC also! Yeah! Another sleepless nights ! -.-

I am looking at my Lappy with this look: -.-

Hahas! :D

Smiling without a reason,hurting without an explanation..

Lappy went hospital ]:

2010-04-06T20:44:00.003+08:00

How's,everyone? hahas! Hope u all are ok..now is the Flu season! Oh man..alot of ppl getting sick,but good news,Me not! LOL! Who care abt me,right? hahas! :D

My Lappy was crashed last sunday ]: Cause my grandma accidently drop my watch onto the laptop..and then it crashed -.- Aww..then it went for repair and it is back!! I LOVE YOU,LAPPY!!! Dont ever get spoilt agn,all my homeworks and important stuffs is inside!! hahas! [:

I dont know..I feeling so guilty nowadays..lets see:

1) Wei Song accidently spoilt my Punch Hole,so he bought me a new one,twice the price of mine one..I told him not to buy for me,but he insisted..Thnks,wei song! [:

2) Alvin just told me he bought me a Lamborgini Model for my birthday which we saw that time which cost $60 -.- I was like..WHAT THE?? Why so expensive? hahas..anyway,thnks alot too,buddy! :D

3) I couldnt live up to my teacher's expectation ]: I feel so guilty abt it..even though they say,i am improving..but I still think not enough,I will try my best! I promise! [:

This are just some of the thing I feel so guilty abt..crap -.- There is still one more..haih,this one I really really feel guilty abt it...I think I just broke someone's friendship ]: even though indirectly,but still maybe cause of me,their friendship isnt as good as bfore..haih,crap..How to redeem myself? Wish I didnt know any of them in the first place..Shld I still pretend that nothing happens,when you have such guilt in you?

Ok,takecare people!

Rmber to smile [:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TENGDA ALSO! Hahas! Enjoy ur day tomorrow!!! :D

Wow..what a day?

2010-04-02T22:03:00.004+08:00

Wazzup!! Hows everyone?! Today is Good Friday,so really hope it is indeed a good friday for u all..but got quite a shock for me :O Really shock until cannot be shocked alr! hahas! xD

First of all,the thing that shock me..I was really so shock by the fact..My mouth open wide when I see the fact! Literally!! I didnt expect it..and ok now I know the reason why to everything..that settle my wandering question..at least I know the truth,but I cant help u anymore...I thought I can,but since u did that,I cant already...anyway,all the best! [: hahas..well,guess I cant call u by ur nickname alr,right? [:

Hmm..next,hope you are ok [: I will always be here if you need me..I promise. I know I cannot be the friend you need or replace any of ur friends,but all I can do is to make u smile and not make u feel alone..I will be alongside with you when you lost your way and feel trapped..[: No worries! hahas :D Be happy..and smile always! [:

Well,thats all..Takecare people!

Rember to smile! [:

P.S: Added 3 more new songs! :D :D

- 'I'm Gone' by Jay Sean

- 'Vanilla Twilight' by Owl City

- 'You'll be safe here' by Rivermaya

Left 3 more weeks

2010-04-01T22:14:00.002+08:00

Yo,hows everybody!!?? I am fine!!! Woohoo!! LOL :D

Today,got a Sec 1 Councillors Interview..I gotta say time flies really fast

Looking at the sec 1 reminds me of myself when I was a sec 1...almost 4 years in NCHS and it seem long but actually really short.. At first,when in sec 1..I regret everything! Regret to be in the NCHS, regret to be in the Student Council.. regret to be in NCC..alot of things that I thought I 'regreted' in sec 1..

But now..in Sec 4,I realise all of them is not a regretful decision..I really wish I got more time to be in NCC(Land)..In Student Council..In NCHS ]: Soon..I will pass down as the Vice-President of Student Council..Later on,I pass down as the APC for Bravo for NCC..and finally,I will leave NCHS ]: Damn..Wish I was in sec 1 now ]:

I really gonna miss 1B'07,2B'08,3D'09 and 4D'10..the Excos member..Councillors..My naughty NCC Bravo cadets..haih..really gonna miss it all! I dont know how to show all of them how I appreciate them all..All that I can think of,is to try fight for them to be the best they can..but I am not really that capable to do so,haih..]:

When I was in sec 1..I wish that I could get out from NCHS as soon as possible,but now..I dream that I can be in NCHS for a longer more time..]:

Have I done my best for everything? ]:

How do you know?

2010-03-29T19:14:00.009+08:00

How do you know...

If whatever happens, has a true reason and meaning to it?

If you are a strong person?

If you are being push to your limits?

How do you know...

If you had tried your best?

If you had persevere enough?

If you really deserve to be praise by people?

How do you know..

If memories will ever be kept with you forever?

If time isnt enough for the change to happen?

If life still has any meaning to it?

How do you know..

If the people like your very existence in their life,or they just hate it?

If you have really repay back the deeds,people have sacrifice for you?

If you even deserved to be treated nicely?

How do you know..

If you will always be able to be there for the people you care?

If anybody will always be there for you when you need them so badly?

If someone you wanna talk to..feel annoyed and irritated by you?

How do you know..

If someone do really care abt u,really meant what they say?

If that someone you care so much will care for you the same?

If someone really do love you when they say it,or it is just mere words?

How do you know all these stuffs? These are some of the questions that keep sticking in my head every time before I went to sleep.. How do you know all these? ]:

Well this evening is very cold cause..

It is raining now...

Just like how my heart feel,feel like crying but haih,whats the point? I just seem to wanna cry but I dont even know why..Seeing my brother makes me more wanna cry,seeing my sister..even worse,seeing my grandmother in her conditions..no need to mention it,seeing my mum..I will break down..How to be your best? How to push yourself? How? How?

It is raining even more heavier now....

It just keep getting heavier with thuder roars and lighting strike....

Random random

2010-03-28T16:54:00.008+08:00

Hey,whats up people? I am just rotting at home! Yesh! -.- Ok,I am very bored..seriously soooooo bored! hahas! Well,I shall talk randomly here [:

I miss POKEMON and DIGIMON so much! ]: They were some of my best childhood memories!! OMG! ]: Both of it rocks my childhood,man..My favourite pokemon and digimon is shown here! hahas [: Yup,my favourite Pokemon of all Time is Charizard!! :D For Digimon..Wargreymon! :D :D I really miss watching these two awesome shows ]: Wanna watch now,but really busy ]: And also I lost track of the episode..so sad ]: hahas!

Oh,ya some naughty 'baby sister' send me this pic! hahas!

A blue undies..hahas! Basically I am the Undies la,hahas! Thnks thnks! U know who u are! :P Dont worry,babysis! Nobody will know u send me this..Muahahaha! By the way,this undies got pokka dots..hahas! xD

Ok,shall end this random post! hahas!

Takecare,ppl!

Smile always! [:

If you are able to read this..You have a secret ability not many people have..

You have the strength of a Lion..

You have the speed of a Cheetah..

You have a special gift in you..

You have reveal a powerful truth..cause..

Thnks to your gift,people will now realise..

How awesome Riduan is!! :D

TEEHEE!

No matter what I do,I always forget to forget you..

Busy week-.-

2010-03-27T17:43:00.005+08:00

This week very epic! So busy until cannot be busy anymore,hahas! Cause of School Anniversary Parade so yup! Rehearsals until crazyyyyy! hahas! Was tiring but the results was a SUPER SUCCESS! I wear the No.1 NCC Uniform like some Military Officer like that,hahas! So cooool! :D

Oh,ya..Dont forget abt PuppyEye Beatrice! hahas! Congratz to winning 3rd place in the Oratorical Competition! hahas! [: u must have used ur Puppyeye power! hahas! :D

Hmm..nothing much,so gonna go people!

Takecare!

Remember to smile always! :D

P.S: Basically this post is to update my blog only,hahas! xD

Added New Songs:

"Lose It All" By Backstreet Boys

"Madly Truly Deeply" by Savage Garden

This are the songs I really love to listen! :D Check them out! hahas [:

Today is Sunday! :D

2010-03-21T04:05:00.003+08:00

Yesh! It is 4.05am,21 March 2010 and it is a Sunday! And why am I so excited abt? Hahas,I dont know too! :D Ok,I am being random cause I just woke up,and cant go back to sleep easily so thought just blog,hahas! [:

So tired nowadays and dont really wanna do anything..Just wanna listen to songs and just rest down,thinking abt stuffs,and maybe I also will imagine abt being a Pokemon Master or what,hahas! :D I miss watching Pokemon ]: Last time,I was a die-hard fan of it and can name all the Pokemon and all the moves,etc..Nowaday,just too busy to watch the new episodes ]: aww..sad riduan,hahas!

I keep emoing out of sudden nowadays,like for one min..I will be like so random,then suddenly so emo on one corner,like just now..Shuyi,Danston,Lyon & Hazik invite me go watch movie at AMK Hub,I was ok la..can,nothing to do much also but when reach AMK Hub,I feel so emo like that..then I didnt go watch movie -.- Went back to CCK instead,means home la xD hahas..I know the reason why I am emoing,but nah,cant really do much for it also

Ok,I think I shld go sleep now,later my mum kill me if she see me using com super early in the morning! xD hahas! Or maybe she join in with me,play some miniclip game! Whee! hahas! [:

Takecare,ppl! Smile always! :D

Hazik reminds me of something..I dont know if u really meant those words,or just words,but haih,I dont know..I gotta feeling history will repeat itself..Lose one,and gonna lose the other one..In the end,back to square one..and it is all my fault..How great can I be?

Happy Birthday Shawen [:

2010-03-15T22:58:00.007+08:00

First of all..

Happy Birthday,Shaw EnY!! :D Hahas!

Hope you like the three muffin from me and Fengxia,which I randomly pick! :D hahas! You are a year older! But u still look the same xD hahas! Just kidding! [: Hope all ur dreams and wishes come true and stay happy always! [:

P.s: U look like a sales gal in the picture,promoting the muffin,hahas! :D Took the photo when me, Fengxia and Shaw En went to study yesterday at KFC [: hahas!

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Ok,now back to business...I got a slight fever and my migraine come back..crap -.- Miss school today ]: which means I got extra work to do tmr -.- which totally no good,hahas! I seriously getting tired of getting headache here and there once in a while..It is totally no fun,last friday..it start coming back,I almost faint back then,luckly I got a bottle of drink to help me get dehydrated and stay 'awake' hahas..If not,I might get hospitalised xD hahas!

Ok,thats all..Gonna rest now,tmr got school..I hope I will be better so I dont have to miss sch AND get EXTRA work to do!! NOOOOO!! hahas..Cheers,everyone! :D

Takecare,ppl! [:

Smile smile always and stay happy!! :D

Why my heart is stronger than my mind? My heart feels heavy everytime I wanna try to...

Me want IPOD TOUCH!! :D

2010-03-08T18:27:00.005+08:00

Woohoo! I have just woke up from my naptime! hahas! Well,today in school not much happen except the fact we get back our results -.- Crap..

But Not bad I shld say..My Combined Humanities and Geography got B3..but! I both I have 68.6 and 69.2 respevtively!! Grrr!! A few more mark then can get A2 ]: hahas..Malay also not bad..Waiting for English..Add Maths no hope..flunk it totally,hahas..Wah,my other subjects I manage to do quite well..but my best subjects..Science and Maths,haih..good game ]: Really demoralized sia,hahas! But ok,life goes on! [:

Wondering why I post an Ipod Touch pic,right? (Maybe u all not :P) I am SOOOOO in love with IT!!! I wanted buy one! An Ipod Touch 32GB [: but it will cost $468 -.- Damn it..at the rate I am saving from my pocket money,around November 27 then can get one! -.-hahas! Thought I could buy it as my own birthday present for myself next month! But..no hope! hahas! So I shall patiently collect the money! hahas! :D ME WANT AN IPOD TOUCH!!! :P

Oh,I soooooo hate my cousin! hahas! Yesterday,went to his wedding arh..then he told me he got one pair of tickets FREE for BSB Concert!!!! WAHHH!!!! I really hate him! He say he got it cause of his work,dont knw la..then he not really enthu abt BSB,so he didnt go..HE WASTE THE TICKETS!! OMG!!! I soooo hate him! Shld have given it to me lor! :P hahas! Wah!! xD

Ok,thats all..Tmr CME test! Must study! :P hahas! Update my blog songs with alot of songs! 17 to be exact! Hope u all like it! [: This are the songs I am currently love to listen to! :D

Ok,takecare people! Smile always! [:

If u are alone,I will be ur shadow..If u need to cry,I will be ur shoulder..If u need a hug,I will be ur pillow..If u need to be happy,I will be ur smile,but anytime u need someone,I will be just me for you.

I am really sorry

2010-03-07T00:03:00.005+08:00

I am really sorry...I cant bear myself to be the same anymore,I know u keep saying those word as a friend only,but it will be different for me if I say it back to u..really sorry..I can only reply u with a smile...I hate myself for doing this to you,I am useless..

Really sorry..I cant also now call ur nickname easily,I wanna go away far from you..I also easily get jealous when u talk to other boys,thats my probs,jealous too easily..sometimes when u sms..I feel like I dont wanna reply u,but then I will feel really guilty..Haih,i am seriously useless..

Maybe,I just need time..Really is unfair to u,I am really sorry..When I thought I stop liking you,it started to come back,I really wanna make myself stop liking u..so I wont get hurt or have to hurt u in any way..Arh,screw myself..

Sometimes,I wish I had nvr know you..I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart ]: I am just hopeless in this kind of stuffs..

Nothing last forever

2010-03-06T21:00:00.009+08:00

"You might be one person to this world,but you might also be his/her world to one person"

Today,flag day..SCREW!! hahas..Got diao by 7 people in a row!! WAH!! hahas..okok,I am alright! Went Orchard with Alvin to do the flag day thing..manage to fill at least 1/4 full of the tin ]: Very sad..hahas! Then went to Suntec to help out in the MOE Excel Festival..hmm,quite an experience! Hahas [:

I hate when something is correct sometimes -.- hahas..Alvin got tell me bfore,nothing ever last forever..I really wanted to prove him wrong,but I was wrong..He is correct,nothing last forever. There is always an end to everything,it is just a matter of time. It seem that I was winning but in actual fact..I am losing,and maybe I have lost also..hahas..when I try to sustain it..I will feel jealous,but if i try to just forget abt it..I will feel guilty..wah! I am seriously confused! I dont think it will be the same after I graduate,it will be gone..Now also,like dying alr..It will soon die out.

Benedict also got say,the closer u get to something..the more difficult it will be to handle it. He was super correct..I cant handle it,I guess..easily get jealous! -.- Oh,well..If that happens,which I think it will..I need get myself mentally prepared. Be strong,Riduan [: Ok,thats all! Takecare people! Smile always!! :D

(Dont worry Alicia! We are on the same boat! Hahas! I shall cheer u up..by saying I am more awesome! Hahas! :D )

Nothing last forever..One day,everything will end..and when it happen,it will be just memories...

An Epic day

2010-03-05T21:34:00.008+08:00

Yo,whats up? Finally,common test is over..so can chill awhile...hahas [: Today I got to draw my No.1 NCC uniform!! So cool! Gonna wear for the School anniversary parade!! [: Wheeeeeee! Well,today was such an epic day..really epic ever! Gonna be a long post! Seriously..

It all started during maths lesson..We going get back our E.math paper,Ms Sng told the class,we all did quite well,most 39-45 range out of 50..with only two failures,getting 24/50 and 22/50..I was like ok,not bad..But when I get my paper..Wow! I was the 22/50 guy..I was so shock,I was like seriously cannot believe my eye. Went back to my seat..I was really speechless.

While Ms Sng was going thru the correction,I didnt bother to listen..I check though my ppr myself,disbelieving it..I find out alot of the mistake I realise during the test,I didnt change it! I was really shock..ard 10 mark mistake I realise during the test itself,and I didnt change the mistake?? I could have gotten 39 or even more? I redo all the qusetion on my own, including the correction also...I realise I know how to do the ppr 90% of it! I didnt even go see my tb,or ask my friends or even ask Ms Sng...I was really dishearted..I was really too shock...

After returning the ppr,I know where the mistake lies,It was within me..I kept sleeping during the E.Math Common Test..I was so sleepy and tired,I cant basically do simple equation at that time..I really was so down..I almost cry at the spot,so I try use my 'Cooling System' to try make myself calm down,but I realise I got screw smtg up with her..so by thinking of her,make me more sad..then I was really stress up by the E.Math ppr.....I cry at that very moment..luckily after math was recess..so not many ppl did see me cry,hahas!

I kept crying and crying..I put my head down on the table,Ms Sng saw me..and told me not to worry,I still did pass my overall CA1 E.math..but it is not the matter if I pass or fail,it is the fact that I fail the test,knowing that I could actually pass it..If I had fail because I dont know how to do..I dont mind,but it is a fact I actually could pass..

Staying so far from school had make me so sleepy and tired..every single of the exam,I realise I had use 10 min of it to sleep! Every single one of the exam..I really got screwed big time..I am really scared if this happen during 'O' Level..Too sleepy and tired then I cant think clearly for the exam..Thats why I break down..haih,throughout recess..I was crying all the way..At that moment,I kept cursing and cursing on my luck of staying too far..always very sleepy in class cause too tired..just kept cursing and swearing..I was really too out of mind that time..

Then,recess is over..I am still crying -.- It was CME..Miss Debbie Low ask my class to get in ur grp to do a grp work thingy,I was still crying,with my head on the table..then Yazdan,Peishan,Benedict and Danny came to my table,they maybe also dont know what to say..all look at each other,so blur..I am the leader of the grp..They were waiting for me..But I am still on the ground..That was the time,I had learned something new..

While putting my head down,crying..I could literally hear a voice,an inner voice..talking to me..It sounded like me,but I wasnt even talking to myself..It was like another person talking..I could clearly remember what 'we' talk abt. The voice kept telling me to get on my feet..but I kept saying I dont want..He told me alot of things to convince me..until finally I realise I do need to get up..I lift my head up,my grp members were surprised..I take my tissue and wipe up my tears,I had actually used 3 packet of tissue when I cry-.- hahas! And back to business..I was really shock to get such boost to get back up..

Today was really an epic day..I cry until my eye is still red now,but I learn something new..I realise,even though there seem to left no more hope..when u had fall down,there is always one miracle left that always work..our ownself. We might not realise it,but actually it is our ownself that decide u will be still on the floor or u had get up from the troubles. No matter how weak u think u are..our ownself,our own heart,our own soul is always strong enough to lift us up back [:

This event make me realise alot of thing..I gain back my trust in myself [: No more doubts abt myself [: Hmm..I believe God will never give His creation a challenge that we can nvr take..If He had given me this challenge to face,I know I can take up the challenge..cause I believe in my abilities and myself [:

Ok,gonna go now..woah..such a long post agn! hahas! :D

Sorry to the people who had tagged my blog! Will reply soon! My internet now very lag!!! -.-

Takecare,people!

Smile always! [:

21 more days...I dont know if I can let go of those dark memories,cause memories..are meant to be remember for life..

SPA O-LEVEL

2010-02-26T20:08:00.003+08:00

Yo,people! How's everybody revision for Common Test? [: Hope everything went well for u all! :D Tmr,gonna be my..

SPA O-LEVEL PHYSICS!!!

Very scary..Hope I wont screw up..Like Mr Goh say,

"U can fail 100 Test..u can fail all ur Common Test or Prelims,but u cannot fail for this saturday' SPA PHYSICS O-LEVEL! U have work 10 years for this day.."

Ya,I totally agree! I cannot screw this up! Must do it! Jiayou,Riduan! Jiayou everyone!! :D Hmm..Good luck also for ur Common Test,people! [:

Well,I try make a RANDOM video..hahas,so here it is..just being random here :P hope u like it! :D Dont forget tag! :D

Ok,takecare people!

Smile always! [:

(I might not fully get my confident of myself yet..But I really need it now..wake up! wake up! )

I dont know what to post.. :D

2010-02-21T16:36:00.005+08:00

Ok,I dont know what to post now..Someone so evil..threatened me to post! I so scared,thats why I post! hahas,not really..I wont tell people it is you,baby sis! :P

hmm,I seriously have nothing to say :P Ok,maybe just a question to you all..

"If that is a choice between an apple and orange..Which one will you eat?"

Hahas,leave ur answer in the tagboard at the side! <------------- :D :D :D

Ok,thats all for today! Hahas! :P

Takecare,people!

Smile Always! [:

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I never thought that I would lose my mind
That I could control this
Never thought that I'd be left behind
That I was stronger than you, baby
Girl if only I knew what I've done
You know, so why don't you tell me
And I, I would bring down the moon and the sun
To show how much I care

[Chorus:]
Don't wanna lose you now
Baby I know we can win this
Don't wanna lose you now
No no, or never again

I've got this feeling you're not gonna stay
It's burning within me
The fear of losing
Of slipping away
It keeps getting closer, baby
Whatever reason to live that I've had
My place was always beside you
And I wish that I didn't need you so bad
Your face just won't go away

[Chorus]

Don't wanna lose you now
Baby I know we can win this
Don't wanna lose you now
No no, or never again

I never thought that I would lose my mind
That I could control this
Never thought that I'd be left behind
That I was stronger than you

Don't wanna lose to loneliness
Girl I know we can win
Don't wanna lose to emptiness, oh no
Never again

[Chorus]

Don't wanna lose you now
Baby I know we can win this
Don't wanna lose you now
No no, or never again..

(I dont wanna lose both of you..you both meant alot to me [: )

I do care

2010-02-20T22:51:00.007+08:00

I dont know what happen..I now feel like a gong gong person..haih,seriously did I do something wrong? I seriously dont wanna hurt you...It is like so sudden,I wasnt really prepared to expect it coming..and seriously I wasnt even prepared to face it...

I spent 2 hrs wondering..I can choose to ignore it like u say,but I cant,and I dont wanna ignore it. I really treasure our friendship..it is not like I can find another you in this world,right? I really do care..I really hope I can know..even it is bad or harsh or even it hurts me or what,just tell me...Pls? Pls be honest with me..Pls..Pls..

If I did hurt you,I am really sorry..If we cant be as close as before,I just give in that we cant really be that close anymore,maybe also u have a better friend to talk to,to rely to,to depend to..U know who I am refering to..he is always been there for you.

I post this on my blog as a last resort to my msg to you..On msn,it is difficult..On phone,my prepaid is finish..In person,u will be avoiding me...haih..Dont say thats nothing that we can do,I dont believe that..Thats gotta be something that can be done..

But if you still dont wanna say............maybe I dont mind,cause I dont wanna force you......but I will really feel lost and gone..

Lalalalalalalala!!

2010-02-20T20:00:00.005+08:00

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Wazzzup!!

Hahas..getting addicted to the Annoying Orange video on youtube! Go see! Go see! hahas,so funny! Sports heat yesterday was fun! But no fun also..leg cramp after that..ran 800m then 15oom -.- Got burned and owned in 1500m!! Maybe too tired ]: Sad really sad...hahas,but I am ok! :D

My prepaid is low! ]: hahas..so random!! Me want top up! Who want top up for me?? :P hahas! So sorry to the ppl who sms me,and I didnt reply back..so sorry! ]:

Let's see..What had happen today? Hahas :D

Today,just basically got chemistry lesson at 9am,but I overslept! I woke up at 7.35am..yup,maybe to u all..Still early what? To me...No! No! hahas,stay far mah..need at least 1h 10min to go school,hahas..but luckily late like 10min? Pheww! Then after that met with Alicia to study or do homework together..cause I too awesome,hahas..random :D Met like 12.30pm? I was late..so sorry! Then manage to do alot of homework today! Muahaha! Feel so productive! hahas..then also talk abt random stuff..hahas! :D Then went back at ard 6.20pm,she went for her P6 Reunion BBQ and I went disco! hahas,no la..Home la! :P

Hmm,Mr Goh yesterday told my class a valuable advice..really really I didnt thought of such thing,I dont know abt my classmates..but I really totally agree with his advice. Something I shld always remember..Thnks alot,Mr Goh! Really really apprectiate it! [:

I really feel guilty,sad,down, & confused all at the same time ]:

What am I suppose to do? ]:

Okok,must try be positive..hmm,must always stay positive! [: hahas!

Ok,people..Takecare!

Smile Always! :D

34th Post!

2010-02-16T00:13:00.005+08:00

Woohoo! My 34th Post! :D hahas..ok,random [: Lets talk abt yesterday,since now over 12am! xD

Today(Yesterday) was really tiring..Got a mass clean up of the house..and since I am the eldest boy..I had to do the moving of the furniture! -.- hahas! Then my sis accidently spray the window soap into my left eye!! Pain!! hahas..now abit sore? Then whole afternoon like sleeping beauty..spam sleep!! hahas! From ard 3pm until 4.32pm ( Can still rember! :D ) then sleep agn until 6.40+ pm then sleep for awhile until 7.30pm..then woke up la! hahas! :P

Tomorrow which is today :P is Beatrice's mini gathering,but couldnt make it cause of family outing/gathering! So sorry! Hope you enjoy urself! :D I also will miss Weisong's gathering tomorrow..man..I am so gonna rot for another day -.-

Hmm..dont worry,it is not a regretful decision after all..I realise it is indeed a good decision cause I dont have to hurt you [: I dont wanna hurt you at all..Thnks alot again! Hope you recover from your flu! :D hahas!

Another person,hehe..I dont know now,maybe it is my fault? Ok,we both dont talk much now..silence brewed between us..sometimes or maybe all the time I dont know what to say to you..haih..Ok,maybe it is my fault. I dont talk to you much,cause you have a better person to talk to,depend onto..So I step back. I dont wanna disturb. He indeed treat you better as a friend rather than me..and I have to say,he did hundred times better than me.Hmm,sometimes,I miss those times and moments,hahas!

Ok,no more sad and emo paragraph! hahas..today was such a boring day..I decided to take stupid photos! :D here it is! :D

My Guitar..hahas,long time never play -.- since P5,now clueless abt guitars :P

My trustworthy school bag!!! :D :D :D

Me trustworthy alarm who wake me up at 4am for school! :D

The biscuit Puppy eye gave me as a gift! hahas!

My Lappy!!! And my palm-side internet modem! hahas [:

My MOST EXP Shoe I ever buy! hahas! $68! LOL! :D Reebok DMX Ride! [:

My PINK Class tee! :D

4D-OWN Rock!!!! :D

Oh,last Sunday..on Valentine day,nothing to do..went to Sembawang Park alone arh..cause no gf mah..emo lor :P Just kidding! Just go there to calm my mind..The Beach always can relax my mind [:

So nice the sea! [:

Lying down looking at the sky..[:

Ok,Thats all! Takecare,people!

Stay happy & cheerful!

Smile always!! :D

Mother Facai! :D

2010-02-14T01:24:00.003+08:00

Wah..a day pass by and I just told her -.- What the?? Hahas..even though it went better than expected..I just feel that I seem to screw it up? Ok,I always screw things up,what can I do better?

Thnks for understanding.. Nah,I wont be asking you anything..It never cross my mind to make you mine. This feeling will soon die down like a fire burning on a wax candle..It will die out soon. I will try get back myself up as soon as possible. Thnks Alicia & Hazik for the help by the way. [:

I dont feel any sadness at all being 'rejected' or emoing..hahas,maybe cause I expected it? But the fact is not even a slight feeling of sadness or emoing..Just feel regretful..I think I shld nt even tell you. Just dont know..I feel like one of my biggest regretful decision I had make. Arh....shoot! -.-

Cant sleep already! Shoot! Two reason: First,I just drank Red Bull -.- I know,weird of me.. Second,I am feeling regretful! Aiya,shoot me lah! * Bang * and the dirt is gone! Wah!!! I am becoming random! Shoot shooot shooooooot!!!

I feel lost already..I seriously shouldnt have told you..The point is,I told u when my freaking confidence level is low? I dont believe in myself and dare to make such decision? Wah,if in a war now and I am the General,all the soldier die already..cause I make the wrong decision.Ok,it alr happen..what am I suppose to do? Life still goes on..

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala...arh #$@$%%##%(*^**&^$#)(!@^%@

Ooo...symbols! hahas! :P

I shld haven given me time..I shld have think it thru...I shld..I shld...but it had happen already. Bear with the decision..Live with regret.

But I wont emo! :D

(This make me lose my confidence totally,I dont believe in myself no more..no more at all..I dont want it back..I dont wanna believe in myself..I dont..)

Not Gonna Focus on You

2010-02-13T09:53:00.002+08:00

Yoyoyoyoyo!!! :D :P :)

hahas,so many emoticons!!! I feel so hyper up! [:

Yesterday was CNY Celebration..hmm,doing duty as usual..My most favourite part is the MV Video done by the teacher! hahas..So funny! :D Then after that was the...

4DOWN KFC OUTING!! :D

Hahas,we all wear our Pink Class Tee and enjoy our meal there!! Mdm Yeo also came! Hahas,Mdm Yeo so enthu! She even wear her Pink Tee we make for her! hahas! U rock! :D It was hilarious joking around and having fun! Then play bball and homed! [:

By the way,thnks to all for giving me the Valentine's gift! [: Let me see if I can remember..

Erica Ho- Gummy Sweet

Emily- Ferro Rocher

Jean Foo- Chocolate

Liyun- Sweet x 4! hahas!

Vannesa- Lolipop & a tiny flower

Jia wen- Self made flower

Gerald- Chocolate

Mdm Yeo- Hong bao of Choco! :D

Alicia- Toblerone

Some 4D classmates-sweets,jellys,lolipop ( Sorry! I dont know who give what,cause after the calligraphy competition I come to class..They were alr there! Sorry! )

Sorry if I left out anyone! Too many until cant rmber all! But,still a BIG thnk u! [:

Haih,I am not gonna focus on you. I change cause of this feeling for you. I cant forget alr abt this feeling..Dont worry,I am not gonna ask for stead or confess or whatever la. I will feel jealous everytime you talk to other guys and somemore with alot of guys. So,the best way to forget abt u,is to let u go by avoiding u.

From now,I will never be the one to sms u.. I will never think of u first if I need someone by my side..I will never hope u to pick me up if I have fallen..I will never agn. I will just focus on my study and building back my broken confidence of myself. If u talk to me or sms me,I will still reply u the same way and help u if u need. It wont be the same bond we had when we just know each other..I am very sorry abt this...I feel too guilty to be even think of doing this to you..

Well,I am not gonna emo..not gonna emo..not gonna emo... :D hahas!

Enjoy the long break people! To all my chinese friends,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! :D

Dont forget give me 70% of ur collection arh! hahas! :D I am such a good friends of urs mah! xD

Takecare,people!

Stay cheerful!

Smile! [:

( I am sorry... Just doing this to you hurts me a lot alr)

OMG!!! Slept!!! :D

2010-02-09T23:37:00.002+08:00

I hate it when somethings always make things right when I feel so emo or what..cause It always make things right la,hahas-.- Ok I dont get myself... :D

Hmm..Basically these past two days,alot of things somehow indirectly try to persuade me..'Hey,U Durian! Why u emo!!?? I smack ur face,then u know?' U know what I am saying? hahas..Just in short simple words: Just try to get back myself together [:

Just like alot of things happen arh..Like Benedict reminds me of the Resilience Video my group make for our CME Project,reminds me to not always give up..Injuries always occur in life but they will heal,and just move on...And one time,Shuyi & Liyun indirectly reminds me of my Bicycle Theory,hahas! Which reminds me that when u fall down..u have to stand up agn,bandage ur wound and try taking on the bicycle agn..Then, Alvin reminds me of the Girlfriend Theory (Ooops,hahas!), reminds me that I create such creative theory,hahas and also that need to have perseverance.

Actually alot of stuff these past two days happen to indirectly remind me: So what u screw up? U at least did try it rather then not? Hahas..hmm,ok! I decided to not ever be emo again!!! It is no fun D: I will be back to myself soon as I owe someone her present! [: I will stay positive always!

Replying to Tagged! [:

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Riduan>Alicia: What happier rabbit riduan???-.- hahas! hmm..thnks alot,Awesome!! :D

Riduan>Beatrice: Hahas,I dont mind been spam [: At least u spam because u just wanna help[: Hahas,thnks alot,Puppy eyes! :D Why must it be a white door? hahas[:

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I am going to be O-K-A-Y! I am going to be myself soon..hmm,but I still need time to restore back my confidence of myself ]: I still have a little bit of doubt of myself here and there..Hmm,hope I can get back my belief in myself,so I can be more truly myself and do the right thing! [: Wow,I realised I do make some stupid but yet useful theory-.- holy mama :D

Ok,Takecare people! Stay cheerful! :D

Smile!!!! [:

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List of Theory I have make! :D

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1. Bicycle Theory

2. Girlfriend Theory (make it with Weibin :D)

3. Collapse Building Theory

Soon more will be coming out! hahas! :D